Utensil formerly known as “The Good Knife” stripped of title

RED DEER – Stunning observers in the Stephenson kitchen, The Good Knife has unceremoniously been forced to relinquish its title. The shocking loss of status occurred yesterday before dinner…

Professor’s clever trick question on exam prevents 14 students from attending law school

MONTREAL – Speaking to his stunned class two weeks after their midterm, Dr. Emile Hastings revealed that one of the seemingly simple questions on the test was actually a fun little trick, t…

Electoral Reform Primer: P3- that dope ass one Stephane Dion likes

Overview: You remember that adorable nerd, Stephane Dion? A few years ago, he came up with a better electoral reform system than anybody else ever has. But Canada has not adopted this system, bec…

Trump going to wait for KGB’s assessment before accusing Russia of election tampering

NEW YORK – Following a CIA report that alleges Russian tampered with the 2016 American election, President-elect Donald Trump plans to wait for the KGB’s assessment before accusing Russia o…

Stan Lee set to cameo in future Marvel porn parodies

LOS ANGELES – Vivid Entertainment has announced that famed comic book creator, Stan Lee, has been confirmed to appear in cameo roles for forthcoming porn parodies of Marvel superhero films. “We c…

Meet the 12 clones that fill in for Yukon MP Larry Bagnell

WHITEHORSE – Being an MP from a distant riding can be an exhausting exercise, but Larry Bagnell has help from 12 identical copies thanks to new advancements in Parliamentarian genetics. The…

$2 pizza served at transit station probably fine

TORONTO – Commuters travelling through the Bloor-Yonge subway station in Toronto have been given the opportunity to buy pizza for $2 a slice from a folding table, and on the whole decided t…

Man’s publicly displayed copy of ‘Infinite Jest’ actually just full of peanut shells

TORONTO — This weekend it was revealed that Brody Hall’s proudly displayed copy of David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest is merely a receptacle for crushed peanut shells. For many years, the…

Facebook year in review video just pictures of things on fire

EDMONTON – Local woman Carly Everton has advised that the year in review photo album automatically generated by Facebook to make people feel nostalgic is showing her nothing but photos of t…

How To: Learn a Language

  Learning a language has never been so simple, and definitely won’t ruin your marriage! Check in every Friday for an educational digital exclusive.…