SASKATOON – After years of inexplicable failure, local man Peter Whitehall has yet to find a method of dragging sharp metal blades against his face that doesn’t irritate his skin. “I don’t know ...
Meet the German tourists who have been lost in Winnipeg’s underground for five years
WINNIPEG – A cross-country adventure of Canada five years ago has turned into a Winnipeg subterranean misadventure for tourists Karl Ziegler and Anna Kraus. On a scheduled visit to Manitoba’s ca...
Men’s rights group insists Broadway musical change its name to “Pappa Pia”
NEW YORK CITY– Men’s Music Makers, a U.S. men’s rights group, has organized a boycott of famed Broadway smash Mamma Mia until creators change its name to the more masculine, “Pappa Pia”. “This is just...
Calgary Herald on normalizing sexual assault in high school: ‘We all write dumb things at our age’
CALGARY – The Calgary Herald’s editorial board justified publishing a column that claimed men should not be held accountable for sexual assault in high school by using a similar excuse saying co...
Study: Doing yoga makes you three times more likely to tell people you do yoga
CALGARY — Scientists at the University of Calgary have discovered that the most likely outcome of committing to a yoga regime is telling people that you do yoga. Dr. Gerald Rutker went into the ...
Wedding attendee upset that there weren’t more pictures of her
KAMLOOPS BC – A disgruntled guest of Marsha and Graham Staedler’s wedding filed a complaint in regards to the lack of pictures taken of her last weekend. “I mean it’s ridiculous, I l...
Promising students in Manitoba hope cuts in education was worth funding unpromising CFL team
WINNIPEG – Some of Manitoba’s smartest secondary students hope the $82 million bailout of the Winnipeg Blue Bombers will be worth the cuts to their education and potential future. “I don’t like ...
Chronically late man still finds time to check Instagram
MISSISSAUGA, ON – Running a shocking 35 minutes behind on his morning routine Bill Benson, 29, had nevertheless found time to prioritize what’s important in his life: checking in on social media...
Local man still waving his hand in front of automated sink sensor
REGINA — Reports indicate that local man Cameron Watts, 34, is still trapped inside the bathroom of a local Outback Steakhouse, futilely waving his unwashed hands in front of the non-responsive ...
Father-in-law’s sphincter audibly tightens as son-in-law displays emotion
PINCHER CREEK, AB – Creating a clearly audible noise similar to the straining of an already-tight rubber band, local father-in-law Ken Gardner squeezed his anal sphincter shut at the sight of hi...
