Royals fuck

LONDON, UK – Following much speculation about the bedroom activities of royal family members Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, the couple’s Kensington Palace office recently confirmed that th…

Marijuana-sniffing dogs reassigned to Canada civil service

OTTAWA — With Canada’s upcoming legalization of marijuana, the Federal Government has reassigned dozens of former cannabis-sniffing dogs to work in various other ministries and departments.…

Toronto Sun offers weekly column to arsonist who targeted refugee hotel

TORONTO — Following an attempted arson at the Radisson Toronto, which appeared to be inspired in part by Toronto Sun columns regarding refugees staying in the hotel, the Sun has offered a w…

Please keep paying attention to me

By: Stephen Harper, former Prime Minister of Canada You likely heard some news stories about me recently. You might have heard that I think Canada’s pandemic spending is overkill. Or that I…

Study finds old people who claim they have no regrets actually have lots of regrets

KAMLOOPS, BC – A study by the Canadian Institute of Geriatrics has discovered a direct correlation between people who claim they lived a life without regrets and people who actually have a …

Local woman fears she’s become a secondary character in a horror movie

VANCOUVER – Penelope Fagan doesn’t know exactly when she became a supporting character in a horror movie but she’s certain that’s what’s happening to her. “It all started when my friend Bet…

India cracks down on CRA scams after Canada threatens to send PM back for another official visit

DELHI – Authorities in India have arrested dozens in relation to CRA phone scams after Canada threatened to return Prime Minister Justin Trudeau to the country for another official visit. G…

30-year old woman drinking water at bar wants you to know she’s not pregnant

CALGARY -—During a friend’s birthday party at O’Malley’s bar, 30-year-old, recently married marketing consultant Annie Pierre has reportedly assured upwards of 12 attendees that, despite her refu…

Baby never happier than when vomiting

CALGARY —- Researchers have confirmed that 9-month old Grace McMillan, despite enjoying other activities such as interacting with loved ones and playing with toys, reaches greatest levels of happ…

Sleep-deprived parent fondly remembers days of being sleep-deprived raver

KAMLOOPS, BC – Upon catching sight of his sleepless, bloodshot eyes in the mirror, new father Daniel Lutsky took a wistful, early-dawn moment to remember his days of being disheveled and sl…