Pro-gamer loses tournament after being forced to let little brother play
MONTREAL – Fortnite’s North American Championship finals came to an end Saturday night with fan favourite Corey Telline letting a victory slip away in the final round after being forced to …
Climate protesters stymie police attempts to arrest them by becoming fossil fuel CEOs
HALIFAX – As protesters in several Canadian cities blocked bridges today to bring attention to the climate crisis, police were surprised and dismayed to discover that many of the protesters…
Trump honestly forgets which debt he’s paying back by pulling troops from Syria
WASHINGTON – As President Trump announced a snap decision to remove US troops from Northern Syria, insiders report the president genuinely cannot recall which authoritarian leader this acti…
Putin impressed Canadian voters don’t need help spreading disinformation
MOSCOW – Russian President Vladimir Putin was impressed at Canadian voters initiative to misinform themselves without the aid of a foreign power. Putin was more than happy not to have lifte…
Climate change skeptic insists earth was booby-trapped to explode from beginning
OTTAWA—Climate change skeptic Herb Gilpin has found increasing support for his theory that climate change, far from being caused by man-made pollutants, is in fact an indication that it is heatin…
Weird couple names their son “John”
OTTAWA – Friends of local couple Blaze and Traylor Davidson have been left perplexed after the Davidsons decided to give their newborn son the completely bizarre name of ”John”. “I can’t believe …
Local woman outraged that restaurant can’t make the meal she just invented
TORONTO – Margaret Jenson was left horrified yesterday after Café Rouge, the French restaurant in which she was having lunch, impertinently informed her that they would be unable to create the di…
Financial experts say millennials will have to save an entire planet to retire
CALGARY – As the millennial generation gets closer to midlife and starts to make retirement plans, financial experts are warning that not only will they have to save twice as much money as …
Disenchanted white men shouldn’t be able to murder people
Director Todd Phillips comes out in defense.…
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