Top 5 Halloween costumes that are just the Joker you unimaginative white man

As the Halloween season approaches many people spend weeks looking for imaginative, unexpected costumes. Others do not. Beavefeed is here for all those white men who will watch Joaquin Phoenix’s …

Local woman deletes Tinder for the last time for the fifth time this year

TORONTO – Yesterday, Mandy Timmins triumphantly announced to her family, friends, and coworkers that she had just removed the Tinder app from her phone for what she promised will be “the last tim…

Insurance broker scandal leaves nation wondering if Andrew Scheer really even likes milk

  When will the lies end?…

Update: Scheer kept US citizenship secret for fear of being persecuted as a white American man

REGINA – Conservative leader Andrew Scheer said that he kept his US citizenship a secret until now for fear of being persecuted as a white heterosexual male from the United States. “I didn’…

Doug Ford still trying to finish Andrew Scheer’s diversionary scavenger hunt

TIMISKAMING DISTRICT, ON – Deep in the Ontario wilderness, Premier Doug Ford believes he’s nearly found all the items to complete Conservative leader Andrew Scheer’s elaborate game to keep …

Report: Most millennials wait until after the third date to be emotionally vulnerable

WINDSOR – A recent report has found that, on average, single Millennials will wait until at least the third date before deciding to be emotionally vulnerable with their partner. Take, for e…

“The trick is confidence” says man who has never contributed anything useful to society

OTTAWA — Despite failing to contribute anything useful to society, Tom Phillips, 32, has said to anyone listening, that the secret to all success in life is merely “confidence”. “You gotta walk i…

Alien civilization blocks humanity after receiving unsolicited nudes

DEEP SPACE – Immediately regretting opening the strange message attached to an oblong metallic object marked “PIONEER” found floating in space, a distant alien civilization blocked all of h…

$140 NHL app comes with all the regional blackouts fans never knew they wanted

TORONTO – With a new season of NHL underway, media conglomerate Rogers Communications and the League have reminded everyone to purchase an app that will showcase exciting regional blackouts…

“I’ll add it to the list!” promises man who has already forgotten what movie you’re talking about

VANCOUVER – John Sullivan, the man you are currently chatting with at a mutual friend’s party, has already completely forgotten the awesome movie you recommended he watch, despite the fact that h…