U.S.A. – In another ‘you have to read it to believe it’ situation, a few wacky experts are blaming the latest mass shooting on the shooter’s easy access to things that shoot. Seriously! I mean, we all...
Loblaws CEO blames record breaking profits on newfound popularity of food
Toronto, ON – Loblaws CEO Galen Weston Jr. has recently explained to politicians on Parliament Hill that his record-breaking profits during difficult economic times are only due to Canadians’ mo...
Motherfucking genius blows everyone’s minds by informing them that the book was better
ST. JOHN’S – Duke Street resident Sheila Reynolds caused a stir today, after declaring that the recent Oscar-winning film Women Talking was an inferior product when compared to the novel on whic...
NHL fan singing national anthem, honouring soldier with standing ovation thinks Pride Nights are too political
TORONTO – As the debate rages over NHL players refusing to wear Pride jerseys a number of fans have come forward and said they think the Pride Nights are an unwelcome injection of politics into ...
Local man totally enthusiastic about using new paper straw until about ¾ of the way through his drink
KITCHENER – Local carpenter and casual environmentalist Kai Ambrose has announced he’s really excited about using a disposable, paper straw for his recently purchased soft drink, blissfully unaware of...
Alarming new IPCC report released and you’ve already stopped reading this headline
GENEVA – This week (or maybe it was last week, or the week before, it doesn’t really matter) the UN’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released their latest report detailing the horrifi...
Trudeau hails Biden visit as unique opportunity to bilaterally move the Press off the China story
OTTAWA – As U.S. President Joe Biden arrives in Ottawa for the start of a two-day visit, PM Justin Trudeau says the trip offers a wonderful chance for the two nations to work together on importa...
Editorial: My home business is the result of 1% inspiration and 99% denying I’m the victim of a pyramid scheme
by Maria Lawson Hey Huns, I wanted to write to you all and tell you about this amazing new opportunity that allows you to work from home, be your own boss, have a life, feel empowered, meet lots of gr...
The 5 jobs that AI (probably) won’t take away
Well, here we are: after ignoring years of warnings that replacing warehouse workers and restaurant employees with robots was only the beginning, we’re now at the point where those entering the job ma...
Hate Crime Alert: White friend just made your cultural dish and it tastes amazing
SURREY, BC – Shocking reports suggest that your token white friend just prepared your cultural dish and it tasted better than anything you’ve ever made, in what is being considered the worldR...
