CAPE CANAVERAL – Astronaut Jeremy Hansen, a colonel in the RCAF, will become the first Canadian to orbit the moon in an effort to find affordable housing. “Catherine and I have three kids, so sp...
Chinese government asks Elections Canada for tax receipt
OTTAWA – After learning of the generous 75% tax refund received by Canadians who donate to a political party, the Chinese government has issued an urgent request asking for an Elections Canada t...
Yellowjackets tells harrowing tale of Americans trying to cope with Canadian winter
VANCOUVER – The Vancouver-shot television show Yellowjackets has returned for another highly anticipated season and audiences are clambering to watch the horror that will unfold as a group of st...
Carbon prices rise to $65/tonne, millions of households eligible for rebates
OTTAWA – Canada’s national carbon price rose today from $50 per tonne of emissions to $65, the largest single rise in the pricing structure to date. As well, rebates that millions of house...
Paleontologists theorize the T-Rex had kissable lips and an ass that won’t quit
VANCOUVER – The paleontology world is abuzz this week following the release of a new study which concludes that the tyrannosaurus rex, a massive bipedal carnivore that went extinct 66 million ye...
Fugitive Trump’s attempt to flee to Mexico thwarted by big wall
EL PASO – Recently indicted steak salesman Donald J Trump attempted to flee to Mexico early this evening in order to escape charges awaiting him in NYC, but found it impossible to make it to the...
Danielle Smith’s work as premier revealed to be 90% interfering in COVID prosecutions, 10% cowboy hat photo ops
EDMONTON – Following recent revelations, observers have determined that Danielle Smith’s official calendar of duties as Alberta’s Premier consists entirely of 90% inappropriately communicating w...
STUDY: You’re the only uggo in this Pilates class
SWITZERLAND – A new study published in Nature has confirmed what scientists have long suspected — in this Pilates class, you are the only uggo. Scientists conducted the seconds-long experiment to det...
Canada announces tax-free grocery savings account
OTTAWA – As part of their latest budget, the Trudeau Liberals have announced an additional measure to help financially squeezed Canadians: a new tax free savings account to help Canadians save f...
Highlights of the Liberal’s 2023 Budget
Holy motherfucking shit it’s Budget season! The time when the government announces how it will spend all our money and we all pretend to understand the difference between the debt and the defici...
