TORONTO – Pixar Studios’ latest animated adventure, Turning Red, details the whimsical and outlandish story of a family who are able to afford a house in the downtown Toronto core. Turning …
Entertainment
Award-winning death metal band turns out to be dishwasher full of old nails
STOCKHOLM – Fans of the Swedish death metal band Malfunctioning Whirlpool were shocked to discover that the hit musical group is actually nothing more than recordings of an old dishwasher r…
Opinion: I didn’t get it at first but once you start fucking Pete Davidson it totally makes sense
LOS ANGELES – By 2025, the World Health Organization predicts 80 percent of the world’s population will have contracted COVID-19, and 91 percent will have fucked Pete Davidson. I fucked Pe…
Wait, what? This lesbian movie has a happy ending
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Last week, Digimagine Filmworks released their anticipated lesbian period drama, Calling The Wife. However, viewers were shocked to find out that the film actually had a hap…
Vanilla Ice hopes Spotify notices he also removed his music in Joe Rogan protest
Stockholm, Sweden – After Neil Young has made headlines for removing his music from Spotify in protest of Joe Rogan’s COVID misinformation, Vanilla Ice has removed his music in the hopes so…
$4 billion stock loss forces Spotify to postpone week’s 0.10¢ royalty payments to artists
STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN – After musicians protested Spotify’s $100 million deal with podcaster Joe Rogan, despite his spreading COVID misinformation, the streamer reported a loss of $4 billion wh…
Study finds strong correlation between playing loud music in public and having terrible taste in music
BERLIN ― New research from the Berlin University of the Arts has revealed that those with the greatest tendency to play music at maximum volume on subways, in college dorms, and while biking thro…
Local man pulls fire alarm to avoid friends discovering he doesn’t like Succession
VICTORIA, BC – During a recent lunch at Burke’s Cafe, local paralegal Marc Antwern felt he had no choice but to pull a fire alarm to avoid his friends discovering that he does not like HBO’…
God announces long awaited Golden Girls reunion special
HEAVEN – After years of speculation from fans, God announced today the highly anticipated Golden Girls reunion special is now available for subscribers of Heaven. “We’ve been wa…
Look who’s joining the cast of season 2 of Bridgerton: the Ask Jeeves butler
HOLLYWOOD – The season 2 cast of the Netflix breakout show Bridgerton has been released, announcing new comer: the Ask Jeeves Butler. Best known for his work as the gentleman’s gentle…
