ST. JOHN’S, NF — Local cat Barney Gabriel Boudreault has shared that he gets his best ideas at three o’clock in the morning.
“They say an artist can’t afford to wait around for inspiration,” says Barney, sitting in a velvet armchair and stroking a slightly smaller cat. “But that’s bullshit, because mine strikes at exactly the same time every day. It’s just part of my creative process.”
Other key elements of Barney’s creative process include knocking shit off tables, pouncing on his human’s faces, and howling at near-deafening volumes. He has also been known to leave dead mice in his “co-worker’s” home, and spill his water bowl everywhere “just to feel something.”
It is through this involved process that Barney has been able to create some of his most esteemed works of art, including his first novel, A Christmas Yowl, and its much-lauded follow-up, Of Mice and Mice.
He is also a prolific painter, having painted such notable works as “The Cat Scream” and “The Girl with the Ear Bleeding.”
At press time, Barney was unavailable for further comment, as he had been struck by rare daytime inspiration and decided to take a shit in his human’s shoe.
