TORONTO – In what many expected to be a rapid deployment of vaccines, Canada’s immunization response to the coronavirus has been in slow motion to ensure a dramatic effect that will captivate audiences for years to come.
With thousands of vials sitting in freezers while others go to waste, elected officials explained that slow motion was added to emphasize the historical turning point in the fight against COVID-19.
“If we don’t do this five times slower, we’ll miss the symbolic struggle between man and disease,” said Premier Doug Ford while directing the action film ‘Revenge of the Second Wave.’
Vaccine delivery trucks have been ordered to slow down and wait to be marshalled in by applauding health care staff and patients.
“No, No, No! All wrong!” yelled Ford at a nurse administering a vaccine to a care home resident. “I want you to feel the heroism and effort of our government, so rub the alcohol wipe onto the arm slowly…carefully. Feel as though you’re saving her life from a horrifying disease that has killed so many of her fellow residents.”
Other provinces have been caught in post-production snags such as the BC government, which can’t decide on whether to use Hans Zimmer or John Williams to produce their vaccine soundtrack.
Meanwhile, Alberta’s COVID comedy mini-series has just finished taping its travel-related episode titled “Kenney and Jets.”
