BLUE JAY WAY, TORONTO – In a misguided effort to impress someone, Sigma Chi president and Rogers Centre roof operator Andrew “Smitty-boy” Smith is claiming he can open the stadium roof with his t…
Tag: toronto
Toronto Police launch task force to send guns from Toronto to Ukraine
TORONTO – In an effort to help Ukraine in the ongoing war with Russia, Toronto Police announced yesterday that they will be launching a special task force that will look to recover illegal …
TSN expanding coverage of criminally under-talked-about city of Toronto
TORONTO — Citing a dearth of centre-of-the-universe-centric content, TSN is boosting its coverage of Toronto. In announcing the move, President Steve Johnson said it was an effort to shine a dese…
Owner walking large dog off leash on sidewalk really fucking cool
TORONTO – Local Cabbagetown resident Francine Dumont walks her 100 lbs Bullmastiff off leash because she’s really fucking cool. “Don’t worry, Max is super friendly!” called Dumont after a y…
Toronto is now North America’s Third-Largest Tech Douchebag Hub
TORONTO, ON – Citizens were overjoyed when earlier this week, the New York Times ranked Toronto as North America’s third-largest hub of tech douchebags, nouveau riche jerkoffs, and self-imp…
Toronto man who left the door unlocked finds apartment turned into a weed shop
TORONTO, ON- A Toronto resident returned home today to a sure sign that he forgot to lock his front door; a retail weed store run out of his apartment. “When I saw all the kids lined up in the ha…
Seneca College unveils slogan “Seneca: The Harvard of Eastern Finch/Don Mills”
EASTERN FINCH/DON MILLS – Seneca College has undergone a rebrand, and is now calling itself “The Harvard of Eastern Finch/Don Mills.” “It’s time to toot our own horn a little,” said Seneca …
We found Toronto’s cheapest apartment: Jail!
You’ve heard of micro condos and capsule hotels, but have you heard about incarceration? Toronto South Detention Centre is listing 1000s of one-bedroom/bathroom apartments for virtually no cost. …
New Pixar movie details fantastical story of being able to afford living in Toronto
TORONTO – Pixar Studios’ latest animated adventure, Turning Red, details the whimsical and outlandish story of a family who are able to afford a house in the downtown Toronto core. Turning …
Wow! These 5 iconic Toronto landmarks would be even better as weed shops
TORONTO – We toured Toronto and discovered five iconic Toronto landmarks that would definitely be more loved as weed shops. Madison Avenue Pub – At 450 meters from the nearest weed st…