Canadian border opens express U-turn lanes for fleeing Americans - The Beaverton
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Canadian border opens express U-turn lanes for fleeing Americans

NIAGARA FALLS – Border Services Agency has announced designated express U-turn lanes for Americans trying to flee to Canada in the event their preferred presidential candidate does not win.

“One in every four Americans have threatened to move to Canada if wins which would create significant delays in trade,” said an official for CBSA. “We’re deeply concerned that the more whiny Americans who believe Canada is some kind of socialist resort will fulfill their vow to move here.”

The enhanced lanes will process erroneous claimants with a 180 degree turn back to US customs disguised as Canadian customs.

“We’re and tired of being Americans’ rebound country,” added the official. “Try Sweden next time.”