OTTAWA – Your friends Daryl Hoover and Cheyenne Klein, who have spent all quarantine posting pictures of each other on social media, have decided to get engaged as a vengeful move against y…
Tag: Social Media
Racist facebook friend got married
Kitchener, ON – Reports from your facebook account indicate that Mitch, a guy you once met on a camping trip and who has been posting increasingly racist memes for several years now, recent…
“Hey girl, Class of ’08”: 5 ways to tell if the girl from your high school is messaging you about a cult
We’ve literally all been there. You get a new message from someone you haven’t talked to in a while. You open it. And only then do you realize that it’s that girl from your old high school asking…
Local ally imagines how proud his Black friends would be about this social media post if he had any
Lethbridge, AB – Local white man Jeffrey Travers is having the time of his life imagining all the praise he would receive from his imaginary Black friends for his pro-Black Lives Matter soc…
New photo filter shows what your data will look like when it’s shared with fascist governments
EDMONTON – Fresh on the heels of FaceApp’s popular old-age filter, social media users have discovered a shiny new plaything: ChonkyBrah, an app that shows with uncanny accuracy what it will…
Report: Millennials average net worth only 8000 likes
CALGARY, AB – Surveying the livelihood and stability of adults born between 1982 and 2004, a report released today has concluded that the net worth of the average millennial is only 8000 li…
BREAKING: Somebody liked a pic you posted two years ago
THE INTERNET – Social media notifications have confirmed that a photo of yourself that you posted more than two years ago on a day when you felt cute has received a new like, prompting a de…
Clement announces return to social media by sending DM to every woman in his constituency
HUNTSVILLE, ON – Female residents of the Parry Sound—Muskoka electoral district were surprised to learn on Wednesday that their scandal prone MP, Tony Clement, was not only back at work in …
Child dreams of one day creating content
WINNIPEG – Jacob Kubbs, 9 years old, reportedly spends his days sitting in the back of his Grade 4 class staring off into the distance, distracted by fantasies of being able to spend all hi…
Report: Facebook pretty much just pet obituaries now
TORONTO – A new report released by the University of Toronto suggests that 90% of recent Facebook posts are messages of love for recently deceased domestic animals. The social media site, once va…