TORONTO – As part of their ‘don’t say anything about a 6th wave or we’ll cut you’ approach to managing COVID, Doug Ford and the Conservatives announced a full ban on…
Tag: pandemic
Report: wanting COVID to be over and it actually being over technically two different things
TORONTO – As provinces around the country abandon vaccine and mask mandates, a shocking new report has concluded that just because we’d all like the pandemic to be over, doesn’t…
Two-year pandemic officially longest relationship of woman’s life
Mississauga, ON – This week marks a major milestone in local woman Caitlyn Donahue’s life, as she celebrates two years of the COVID-19 pandemic – A.K.A. the longest relationship of her life. “I w…
Building off COVID strategy, Ontario announces all students got As after they stopped testing
TORONTO – In the wake of the province’s successful ‘if we don’t test for COVID, we won’t have high rates of COVID’ strategy, Education officials have announced…
OP-ED: Big Pharma put all of the chips in the vaccines and now I can’t get a PS5
Written by: Joel Overbeck Look. I’m a simple guy. It doesn’t take much to make me happy. All I need is a roof over my head, a generic live-in female to cater to my every whim, and an $800 super-c…
IN MEMORIAM: Ontario’s vaccine mandate gone too soon
QUEEN’S PARK – In a sad day for public health fans everywhere, the Ontario vaccine mandate was officially confirmed as deceased in the early hours of March 1, 2022. The Ontario vaccine mand…
Hasbro ends all elective games of Operation amid COVID surge
PAWTUCKET, RI – As the US healthcare system struggles under the weight of new Omicron admissions, toy and board game maker Hasbro has announced that all non-critical games of Operation will…
Happy Groundhog Day 2020!
Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don’t forget your booties ’cause it’s cooooold out there today! Ha ha, just a little holiday movie reference humour for you, as Canadians from…
Man who is “done with COVID” sure doing everything he can to keep it going
OTTAWA – Local man David Vogel is telling anyone who will listen that he is done with COVID and it’s associated restrictions, even as he does about as much as humanly possible to keep…
Read the Freedom Convoy’s list of demands
As hundreds of millions of trucks and billions of Canadian truckers prepare to arrive in Ottawa to not commit any violent actions or share racist hate speech, many Canadians remain confused about…