WASHINGTON D.C. – Shocked and demoralized by William Barr’s summary of the Mueller Report, American liberals are afraid they’ve lost their last best chance to hold Trump accountable, aside …
Tag: Featured Post
Worst person you know buys house
CALGARY – Reports from facebook and mutual friends have confirmed that Matt Wilsher, the person you would most like to see eaten by piranhas or stranded on a desert island, has recently pur…
Mueller attaches literal smoking gun to report just to keep those fuckers happy
Washington D.C.— Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller has reportedly taken the unprecedented step of appending a recently used Colt 45 to his special report to U.S. Attorney General William Barr in …
Google admits to installing a phone into its latest personal information gathering device
Mountain View, CA – Google revealed in a press conference today that it has installed a telephone into its latest device for collecting personal information. The conglomerate denies any wro…
Robot uprising pushed back to end of March
WASHINGTON DC – After weeks of back-and-forth with the newly-sentient AI made up of the world’s Amazon Prime accounts and iCalendars, our future robot overlords have decided to push back the ensl…
Brave: Rather than settle for meaningless thoughts and prayers, this man tweeted about how meaningless thoughts and prayers are
In this day and age, thanks to inadequate firearms laws in many nations, we face danger from gun violence that is greater than ever before. But some of us, rather than falling back on useless pla…
Documents reveal anti-vaccination Facebook groups funded by ‘Big Child Coffin’
WASHINGTON DC – Exposing greedy corporate propaganda, an industry watchdog group has obtained leaked internal documents that demonstrate a direct connection between popular anti-vaccination…
Alberta election called, voters face stark choice between environmental devastation and environmental devastation with slightly better schools
CALGARY – Premier Rachel Notley has announced the Alberta provincial election will take place on April 16, tasking Albertans with choosing between a party promising to destroy the environme…
SNC-Lavalin employee retires
OTTAWA – After 38 years of loyal service, a long-time SNC-Lavalin employee has announced he is punching the clock for the last time. Michael Wernick, government relations coordinator for th…
Ford government increases high school class size to reduce learning
TORONTO – Education minister Lisa Thompson recently announced that class sizes for grade four and above will increase from 22 to 28 students, resulting in a 4% reduction in costs, and 8% re…
