AVONLEA – An ancient Canadian curse has been discovered on the original manuscript of Anne of Green Gables, demanding the book be adapted every five years, or else. The curse was first disc…
Tag: Featured Post
Police seek public’s help identifying looters
American authorities are asking for the public’s help in a nationwide manhunt for two men caught on camera looting during a time of emergency. Witnesses say the men pictured took advantage of a h…
Brave! Instead of feeling bad about getting older, this 50-something constantly shits on young people
As we get older and come to accept the limitations time eventually places on each of us, it can be tempting to become sad or even fatalistic about life. But some of us face the challenges of agin…
Man secretly happy co-worker who scored Hamilton tickets can’t use them
TORONTO – As theatres across Ontario remain closed, local man, Julian Yoon, is secretly ecstatic his co-worker is unable to use his Hamilton tickets. “I remember the day, he (smugly) posted…
Canada’s newspapers now entirely owned by stock villains from children’s movies
TORONTO – With the sale of TorStar, the publishing company that owns the Toronto Star and dozens of other papers, to a pair of wealthy tycoons, the Canadian newspaper industry is now wholly…
Little Free Library implements more comprehensive Covid-19 strategy than White House
Eugene, OR- Following mounting concern for public safety during the current pandemic, a local Little Free Library is paving the way for appropriate crisis management after issuing a more comprehe…
6 ways to shift blame when people spot you in those Trinity Bellwoods photos
Look, we all make mistakes. Sometimes we text the wrong person, or we miss an appointment, or we congregate with a crowd of thousands in the midst of a pandemic, contributing to the spread of a d…
Fuckable Canadians exempted from new mask recommendation
OTTAWA – Canada’s chief public health officer officially recommended this week that non-sexy Canadians wear face masks when they are unable to maintain a two meter physical distance f…
Student that received CESB blows it all on single PDF textbook
ORILLIA, ON – Several days after receiving $1,250 from the Canada Emergency Student Benefit, Jackson Briggs was surprised to find that he had immediately spent the totality of the money on …
5 great excuses not to hang out when you’re free all the time now and they know it
So you used to have a million excuses to get out of hanging out with your friends. But now that literally every single one of your plans are gone, and the whole planet is under house arrest, ever…
