OTTAWA – In an effort to combat the national doctor shortage crippling many provincial healthcare systems, hospitals across Canada have declared that all PhD holders, regardless of field, a…
Tag: Education
Lazy, entitled teacher to spend entire weekend grading essays again
Strathmore, AB ― Sources confirm that local 11th- and 12th-grade English literature teacher Marian Jansen has already made plans for the weekend, and they once again involve just sitting around o…
Danielle Smith mandates that Alberta students must have at least 2 infectious diseases at all times
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Danielle Smith has carried on her government’s fight against the fight against COVID by mandating that all Alberta students come to school with at least 2 i…
CUPE overrides Ford’s Notwithstanding Clause with their own ‘Notlistening Clause’
TORONTO – After the Ontario PCs used the Notwithstanding Clause to cancel a strike impose a contract that, adjusted for inflation, represents a pay cut for Ontario’s education support…
Ford dons “Scary Canadian Charter” Halloween costume while invoking notwithstanding clause on CUPE workers
QUEEN’S PARK – While invoking the Notwithstanding Clause to prevent CUPE education workers from striking, Premier Ford appeared dressed in the most terrifying Halloween costume he could ima…
Alberta Tories excuse Danielle Smith’s ignorance of history by reminding us she is a product of the education system they built
EDMONTON – After Alberta’s Premier-designate, Danielle Smith, called unvaccinated people “the most discriminated group that I’ve ever witnessed,” members of her United Con…
Seneca College unveils slogan “Seneca: The Harvard of Eastern Finch/Don Mills”
EASTERN FINCH/DON MILLS – Seneca College has undergone a rebrand, and is now calling itself “The Harvard of Eastern Finch/Don Mills.” “It’s time to toot our own horn a little,” said Seneca …
Building off COVID strategy, Ontario announces all students got As after they stopped testing
TORONTO – In the wake of the province’s successful ‘if we don’t test for COVID, we won’t have high rates of COVID’ strategy, Education officials have announced…
Ryerson agrees to change name, drop the “University”
TORONTO – In response to recently renewed discussions surrounding the problematic history of its name, Ryerson has agreed to make the necessary change – by no longer calling itself a univer…
Teachers reveal learning cursive in school just way to “kill time”
WOLFVILLE, NS – The Canadian Teacher’s Association has revealed that the addition of cursive to the school curriculum was only meant as a way to “kill some time.” “Honestly, we just sort of…