Bird owners, beware! Ornithologists have identified 5 new bones that, if found in a bird of prey’s regurgitated pellets, could call for an urgent trip to the Bird E.R. Watch out for your bird cho…
Tag: Birds
Hawk two-ah! Meet Sam, the peregrine falcon who can count to two
MONCTON – New Brunswick finally has a resident who has mastered the art of counting to two – presumably without using their wings. When Sam, a two-year-old peregrine falcon, was rescu…
Amazing! Bald eagles seen living in Toronto with zero roommates!
TORONTO – Local naturalists received a miraculous surprise last week after a pair of bald eagles were seen building a nest in Toronto, with zero evidence of having an unrelated roommate to …
Ocean bird choking on plastic straw still agrees paper straws are the worst
VANCOUVER – In a rare interview, a sea bird floating off the pacific coast of British Columbia has confirmed that, although it is currently struggling to breathe around plastic straw wedged…
Canadian birders get their rocks off as horny birds return north to fuck
WOOD BUFFALO NATIONAL PARK, AB – Bird watchers are flocking to migratory hotspots across the country to witness the annual and literal fuckfest that is bird migration. “I’m not a pervert,” …
Canadian geese reaffirm plans to fuck up every walk you take from now until November
LONDON, ON – Meeting in a vast pile of their own chartreuse shit, an assembly of Canadian Geese gathered to mark the annual renewal of their commitment to make every walk you take within th…
Scientists reluctantly admit they don’t know how birds have sex either
VICTORIA – Leading bird scientists worldwide have released a joint statement out of the International Ornithological Society confirming a long-standing weakness in their field of study: none of t…
Doug Ford to privatize birds
TORONTO — This week, Premier Doug Ford announced a bold plan to privatize birds in the province of Ontario. “We’ve been wasting money on public birds for too long,” said Ford. “We simply ca…
Canadian Air Force facing setbacks after several more CF-18s fucked by giant metal birds
OTTAWA – The aging Canadian Air Force suffered yet another setback today, after giant metal birds had sex with several more of its planes. “Earlier this morning, giant metal birds ploughed …
