HOLLYWOOD – A new report by the Film and Television Safety Institute has confirmed that, every year, 10% of the entrants on the hilarious television show America’s Funniest Home Videos have died...
Tories allege Trudeau is ‘radical Islamist’ after Liberal leader buys, eats shawarma
MONTREAL — Minister of Public Safety Steve Blaney has accused Justin Trudeau of being a radical Islamist after the Liberal leader allegedly purchased, and consumed, a Middle Eastern dish known a...
Canadians stealing state secrets from China find nothing but Canadian state secrets
DANDONG, CHINA- Two married Canadian nationals accused of stealing state secrets from the Chinese government have admitted to the act of subterfuge, but have claimed that the only secrets they discove...
Imperial Metals CEO: ‘I have cousin that’s good at fixing contaminated water’
POLLEY LAKE, BC – The CEO of the mining company that is responsible for contaminating several BC lakes with arsenic, lead, mercury and other heavy metals, is assuring the public that he knows hi...
United Church scales back inclusiveness by adding in height requirement
TORONTO – In a controversial move, the United Church has implemented a minimum height requirement for all members. “It’s just too easy to get into this Church these days,” Rev. Lawrence Paterson...
Best book local man has ever read is only book he’s read since high school
KAMLOOPS, B.C. – Calling it “incredible”, “well-paced”, and “totally unique”, local man Tim Murphy has named Kathryn Stockett’s The Help as the best book he’s ever read. “It’s amazing because it...
BUT THIS IS MY INDOOR VOICE
By: Hon. John Baird OVER MY POLITICAL CAREER THERE HAVE BEEN MANY ON BOTH SIDES OF THE AISLE WHO HAVE THOUGHT MY PRESENCE IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS TO BE SOMEHOW BOTHERSOME. IT HAS BEEN SOMEWHAT OF AN O...
Harper awards self Victoria Cross for gallant performance at WWI commemoration
OTTAWA – In recognition of his stalwart performance and commitment to national pride at today’s commemoration of the beginning of the First World War, Prime Minister Stephen Harper has recommend...
Homeopaths without Borders discover 87 cures for Ebola virus
ATLANTA – The international homeopathy organization, Homeopaths without Borders, has discovered nearly 100 different cures for the Ebola Virus and will promptly use these remedies to fight the o...
World commemorates anniversary of war that ended, then caused, all wars
LONDON – To honour its centennial year, countries across the world commemorated the war that ended, then caused, all wars. Tributes were made to the fallen at World War I memorials, which was th...
