Canadian actor achieves realistic life goal by booking Tim Hortons commercial
TORONTO – 33-year-old Canadian actor David Allister reached his realistic life goal earlier this week when he was booked for a spot on a Tim Hortons commercial. The 30-second ad features Al…
Hadfield comes home to $1.37 million Rogers phone bill
KAZAKHSTAN – After five months in space, Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield was shocked to discover his cell phone provider has charged him well over a million dollars for data usage and roaming c…
Everything just too soon for local man after Leafs’ loss
TORONTO – After the Leafs’ loss in game 7 overtime, local man Tate Rae has told family and friends that he needs time to come to terms with the life-shattering event. “It just doesn’t seem …
Local mom spends Mother’s Day hoping son forgets to call
REGINA, SK – Greeting card writer and longtime mother, Cindy Watros, spent much of her Mother’s Day, the annual event in which children express gratitude for all their mothers have done for…
Canadian Politician Look-alike Poll: Vote for Premier of British Columbia Christy Clark and Jeanette Miller, one of the Chippetes
Round 4 of our Canadian Politician look-alike poll matches Premier of British Columbia Christy Clark and Jeanette Miller, one of the Chippetes from Alvin and the Chipmunks. They’re both ver…
Toronto casino promises to bring prosperity to local casino owners
TORONTO – The Toronto City council will meet later this month to vote on a proposed downtown casino development: one that supporters promise will bring vast wealth to the literally tens of …
Canadian Politician Look-alike Poll: Vote for Minister of National Defence Peter MacKay and Owen Wilson from Bottle Rocket
Round 3 of our Canadian Politician look-alike poll matches Minister of National Defence, The Honourable Peter MacKay, with Owen Wilson from the movie Bottle Rocket. They both have piercing blue e…
Tim Hortons execs just trying to figure out what customers won’t eat at this point
WILMINGTON, DE – Tim Hortons company insiders revealed Monday that the beloved Canadian cultural icon is currently just testing its customers’ loyalty by releasing round after round of what…
Provinces replace Canadian history curriculum with Heritage Minutes
OTTAWA – A new curriculum reform across Canada will see history books and formal lessons abandoned in favour of repeat showings of the beloved Heritage Minutes short films. “Youth attention…
Children’s entertainer miraculously revealed not to be a molester
LOS ANGELES – The child entertainment industry was rocked today by the news that late children’s TV personality and host of The Flower Hour Peter Plantman, had, despite his career choice an…
