OTTAWA – The federal government has made one final request to 50 wastepaper workers with intellectual disabilities before they are laid off and the work given to more expensive private companies...
CSIS oversight committee moves into new quarters at YMCA
OTTAWA – Responsible for overseeing the newly expanded powers of the Canadian spy agency CSIS, the Security Intelligence Review Committee has just moved into a 240 square-foot office complex at ...
Drake’s Canada Council for the Arts grant about to run out
TORONTO – Popular Canadian rapper Drake may be heading for choppy waters when his grant from the Canada Council for the Arts runs out at the end of this month. Since he was bestowed the grant in...
Tim Hortons ‘RaceTogether’ initiative leads to over 4000 fistfights on first day
CALGARY – Canadian coffee chain Tim Horton’s attempt to duplicate Starbucks’ “RaceTogether” policy, where servers engage customers in frank discussions of racial politics, has resulted in 4083 f...
Health Minister to allow 3-parent babies as long as she is one of the parents
OTTAWA – A medical procedure that would give children the cellular material of three parents has been legalized, as long as one of the parents is Health Minister Rona Ambrose. “This bill will he...
Report: Nation’s dads still in the bathroom
CANADA – Reports are coming in from across the nation confirming that, despite taking more than enough time, Canada’s fathers have yet to exit the bathroom. “We don’t want to alarm anyone, but t...
Tory MP Larry Miller apologizes for racist comments which he still stands by and does not apologize for
OWEN SOUND – Conservative MP Larry Miller has apologized for telling women wearing the niqab to “stay the hell where you came from”, a claim which he refuses to apologize for. “My comments were ...
Toronto Police: ‘Our wages have to compete with organized crime’
TORONTO – The Toronto Police Service is defending its high salaries by stating that the force must remain competitive against the high wages of organized crime. “Our police force must attract th...
Local man just wants to listen to the band Nekrofilth in peace
CLEVELAND, OH – Metalhead James Forrest, tired after a long and stressful day, said he just wants to come home and listen to songs like Junkie Cunt in order to relax, but is having difficulty fi...
