WINNIPEG — At a recent campaign stop, Prime Minister Stephen Harper has reminded all voters who will not be marking the Conservatives as their choice to vote on October 20th. “The rules of the f...
Toronto undoes belt, lets gut out as TIFF concludes
TORONTO — Following the conclusion of the annual Toronto International Film Festival, the city itself let out a sigh, loosened the collar of its dress shirt and undid its belt, unleashing its ma...
Game maker Konami avoids bankruptcy after entering ↑↑↓↓←→←→BA
TOKYO, JAPAN – Following reports that the prominent video game publisher would cease all development on console games, the Konami game company reportedly extended their financial life by enterin...
Local man deeply offended that you aren’t caught up on any of his favourite TV shows
TORONTO — What started as an innocent conversation with a coworker about last night’s Emmy Awards quickly spun out of control when, sources say, you provoked the scorn and derision of a lo...
Memorial service for deceased BMW driver held in bike lane
TORONTO – Following his tragic accident last week, this morning a memorial service was held for deceased BMW driver Cole Richards in the middle of a busy bike lane in Toronto. “I can’t believe i...
Harper the latest inferior product to be endorsed by Gretzky
TORONTO – Canadian hockey icon Wayne Gretzky endorsed Prime Minister Stephen Harper for re-election at a Conservative Party rally this week, making the Tory leader the latest in a long line of mediocr...
Memorial University recognizes prof’s religious right to be a dick to students with disabilities
ST. JOHN’S — Memorial University has announced that it will accommodate any professor’s religious right to be a complete ass towards students with any type of disability. “Our university has bee...
High levels of childhood obesity in Canada ‘great for business’ says high school bully
PETERBOROUGH — Teenage tyrants across the country raised their victim’s underpants in jubilation today after learning that childhood obesity rates in Canada continue to rise “faster than y...
McGill ranked top Canadian university according to list released by McGill
MONTREAL — McGill University rose to the number 1 spot this year among Canadian universities in an annual ranking compiled by researchers from McGill University. The order of the list was calcul...
Election Profile: Green Party Platform
While it might be more than a long shot at winning, the Green Party is running a full slate of candidates. Here’s what a Green Party would do as your government: Key Beliefs Not a one issue part...
