MOSCOW – During a rare sit-down interview with Tucker Carlson, Russian President Vladimir Putin was repeatedly forced to pause the proceedings in order to encourage the ex-Fox News pundit to ...
Bell cuts 4800 jobs to create more participants for next Bell Let’s Talk Day
TORONTO – Following the news that Bell Canada Enterprises Inc. is cutting over 4800 jobs, as well as shuttering many local newscasts and radio stations, Bell has assured Canadians the move was i...
Report: One in 20 people are sociopaths and all of them play music directly from their phone speakers in public settings
OTTAWA – In the wake of findings that have stunned the psychiatric community, researchers are now reporting that over one in 20 people are sociopaths, and that every single one of them plays sou...
Waiter obligingly pours sample of restaurant’s cheapest wine
OAKVILLE, ON — Waiter Mark Graham shocked staff and patrons at local fusion seafood hotspot Gastropod over the weekend when he obligingly poured out a sample of the restaurant’s cheapest wine. “Usuall...
Nova Scotians celebrate annual Why The Fuck Does Anyone Live Here Day
HALIFAX – Nova Scotians have found themselves in a celebratory mood today, as citizens celebrate their annual local custom, Why The Fuck Does Anyone Live Here Day, a tradition dating back to the...
First shorts-wearing jogger of winter spotted
WINNIPEG – A shorts-clad jogger has been spotted running in the River Heights neighbourhood, a sight that all metropolitan Canadians know heralds the true beginning of winter. “He was so majesti...
Totally normal guy recommends you watch new anime, “My step-sister is a mail-order bride”
Discord, Ontario – Your totally normal co-worker has once again recommended an animated series you’ve never heard of, this time it’s one called, “My step-sister is a mail-order bride.” “It...
Republicans claim Taylor Swift part of vast liberal conspiracy to make Americans watch football
KANSAS CITY, KS – Across the United States conservative commentators have uncovered a plot by pop megastar Taylor Swift, along with her current boyfriend, Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce, to trick...
Conservatives explain why they’re so obsessed with Trans Kids
Now that Conservatives in Canada have embraced their American cousins’ plan of winning elections by attacking Trans kids at every opportunity, we asked them why they are so obsessed with this sm...
Alberta Premier Marlaina Smith bans kids from going by their preferred name
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Marlaina Smith has announced that Trans kids under the age of 15 will not be allowed to use the name of their choosing without parental consent. “Demanding every...
