Overhead oxygen masks accidentally deployed at Bank of Canada’s fiscal update
OTTAWA — Canadian journalists and investors were sent into a panic after the Bank of Canada Governor deployed the press room’s emergency breathing apparatuses by mistake. The incident occur…
This oil crisis is what happens when you disturb an ancient dinosaur burial ground
BY: PROFESSOR LOUISIANA HARKER I’ve been all over this great, mysterious world of ours: from the Nazca Lines in Peru to the hidden Tonsoon tribes in Tanzania, from the ancient crypts of the Vikin…
Three guys who return foundling baby ruin hilarious premise
EDMONTON – The potential for gut-busting comedy and madcap antics has been extinguished after three unlikely bachelors, Joe, Moe and Perot, promptly returned a baby that unexpectedly arrived on t…
Nation’s left-alone dogs floored by latest episode of Murdoch Mysteries
NATIONWIDE – After a hair-raising episode that placed Murdoch, Ogden, and the whole gang in personal danger, the nation’s dogs that have been left alone with the TV on so that they don’t ge…
Postmedia journalist reporting on newspaper lay-offs fired
TORONTO — Postmedia announced today it would be laying off several employees, including the reporter they assigned to cover the layoffs. Wesley Brais, who was known for such headlines as “S…
Marc Garneau challenges Chris Hadfield to race to the Moon
TORONTO – In an announcement which has stunned the scientific community, Minister of Transport and retired astronaut Marc Garneau has challenged former commander of the International Space Statio…
Thomas Mulcair emerges from burrow, sees shadow; six more disappointing NDP elections expected
OTTAWA — The New Democratic Party was dealt a heavy blow yesterday when Thomas Mulcair, former Leader of the Official Opposition, crawled out of his burrow on Parliament Hill, saw his shado…
BREAKING: Media reports 3 suspicious men taking pictures of Niagara Falls
NIAGARA FALLS — Dozens of media outlets are reporting on three suspicious men captured on surveillance footage taking pictures and video of one of Canada’s least popular landmarks, Niagara …
Quantum computer able to access pornography from different universes
WATERLOO, ON – Researchers at the University of Waterloo have created a quantum computer that is able to access the internet and download pornography from parallel universes. Basic quantum …
New York Times “this close” to working up the courage to marry Canada
NEW YORK – After years of gushing travel articles and love letters disguised as op-ed pieces, New York Times editor Arthur Ochs Sulzberger, Jr. assured shareholders this week that America’s 164 y…
