GOMBE STREAM NATIONAL PARK, TZ – A troop election for the new alpha-male has turned sour after both campaign teams have accused the other of feces-throwing and biting. “This is a desperate smear...
Kathleen Wynne still polling well among voters who are Kathleen Wynne
ONTARIO – Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne has shocked critics following a recent Angus Reid poll that shows high election support from those voters who are Kathleen Wynne. “Even amidst all the stories ...
Sisterhood fail: This woman suggested Sarah Huckabee Sanders is morally responsible for her actions
If the past few years have taught us anything, it’s that there is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women. Sadly, that is exactly what happened Saturday night when, at the White H...
Stop acting like you haven’t also used Facebook to spy on people
EDITORIAL by Mark Zuckerberg Look, I’m still taking a lot of heat for the way Facebook collected data that may or may not have been used to spy on its users. Do I deserve to shoulder some blame for th...
Report: Andrea Horwath honestly trying her hardest
HAMILTON – As the provincial election approaches, sources indicate Ontario NDP leader Andrea Horwath is truly doing her best to win on June 7th. “Despite what it may look like, she is really doing her...
Facebook revealed to be pyramid scheme, first users only ones to make friends
Menlo Park, CA – 2.2 billion Facebook users were shocked when it was revealed today that Facebook is the largest friend-based Ponzi scheme in history and the vast majority of users had made no f...
Dad escalates economic sanctions against son who will not get dressed
STELLARTON, NS – After finding his first round of sanctions ineffective in motivating his 5-year-old son to clothe himself, father of two, John Carlin, has vowed to increase economic penalties S...
Rebranded Globe and Mail focuses on core audience: old people who died before cancelling their subscription
TORONTO – The Globe and Mail is making a number of editorial and design changes to better focus on their most loyal demographic, people who have passed away whose families have not remembered to...
RCMP issues stern warning for Incel chat groups to report all Islamist extremism
OTTAWA – The Mounties are taking a new approach on combating Islamist extremism by calling upon members of the incel community to report anything they see online that calls for Islamist-related ...
Pile of filthy snow in mall parking lot somehow still there
MONTREAL – Local eyewitnesses have recently confirmed that despite temperatures well above 10 degrees Celsius, that giant pile of disgusting snow in the mall parking lot has somehow survived. “I’m wal...
