Trend Alert! Plastic straws are out, shaming people for using them is in

The British Invasion is back and better than ever, thanks to Theresa May’s anti-straw ban that will soon take effect in UK. North America is in a tizzy over this season’s most revolting accessory…

Airliner permits woman’s comfort whale onto plane

VANCOUVER – An Air Canada spokesperson has confirmed that a Vancouver woman has been allowed to take her comfort humpback whale onto an international flight from Vancouver to Hawaii. A pass…

BREAKING: Roseanne hired as White House press secretary

WASHINGTON D.C. — After her rebooted sitcom was cancelled by ABC following the star’s racist tweets, actress Roseanne Barr has been hired as press secretary for the Trump White House. The t…

Justin Trudeau joins long list of passionate environmentalists who own, operate oil pipelines

OTTAWA – With today’s announcement that his government would be purchasing the Trans Mountain pipeline from Kinder Morgan, Prime Minister Trudeau has become just the latest committed climat…

Meet the Doug Ford campaign’s hotshot economist: Frank, who is a good guy

ETOBICOKE, ON – With the Conservatives still polling strongly, party insiders say the secret to Ford’s ongoing success is the brilliance of chief economic advisor Frank: a good buddy who’s helped…

Men: Here are 5 ways to get your slim, ripped winter body into peak “Dad Bod” for summer

Hey single men out there, we all know how hard it is to maintain that soft, perfect dad bod shape, the one that makes the ladies say, “Oh yeah, he’s definitely good father material.” We’ve all do…

Canadian travelling abroad names every Canadian celebrity in order to validate Canadian identity

BERLIN – While travelling through Europe this past week, Adam De Sousa spouted off every single Canadian celebrity in an erie unbroken 38 minute monologue in order to assert that he was ind…

Maxime Bernier claims he doesn’t have white privilege due to systemic bias he faces for being an asshole

OTTAWA – After a twitter confrontation in which he accused MP Celina Caesar-Chavannes of “thinking the world revolves around [her] skin colour”, former CPC leadership candidate Maxime Bernier has…

Embarrassed scientists reveal alien radio signal was actually meant for a planet behind us

Mountain View, CA—Astronomers at the SETI Institute have confirmed that a radio signal originated from an advanced alien civilization, but was intended for a different planet behind Earth. “This …

Nation appalled by the U.S. losing 1500 migrants not as concerned that Canada has lost 4,000 Indigenous women

OTTAWA – Since the story of the U.S. immigration enforcement agency known as ICE losing 1500 migrant children went viral over the weekend, thousands of people from the country that ignored …