Shocking new book suggests Trump bad

WASHINGTON D.C. – An explosive new book exploded onto the political scene yesterday morning by suggesting that former U.S. President Donald Trump is not good but rather, quite bad. “The aut…

Munk Debates: Steve Bannon and David Frum to debate whether hate crimes are better than war crimes

TORONTO – The Aurea Foundation has announced that former Breitbart chairman Steve Bannon and George W. Bush speechwriter David Frum will headline the Munk Debates this year, finally settlin…

Heavily indebted federal NDP cuts out orange as party colour to save money

OTTAWA – The federal NDP’s $3.1 million debt in assets is forcing the party to give up on its traditional orange colour for a much cheaper option. “It’s black and white until we’re back int…

University-aged Buck-a-Beer connoisseurs taste the subtle hints of intoxication

KINGSTON – Hundreds of thousands of university and college students are returning to campuses across the province, and among them are hundreds of thousands of Buck-a-Beer cognoscenti lookin…

Fifth-grader can’t wait to talk about all the rallies she attended over summer vacation

VANCOUVER – Grace Chapman is looking forward to the start of a new school year and the chance to tell her classmates all about her summer spent rallying against the many sociopolitical issues fac…

Nike encourages Americans to buy Colin Kaepernick merchandise to show support/ burn in protest

PORTLAND, OR — Following the announcement that Colin Kaepernick will be their new spokesperson, Nike is encouraging all Americans to buy as much of the Kaepernick merchandise as possible, e…

Labour Day parade’s precarious workers float cancelled last minute after being called into work

HAMILTON – The Precarious Worker’s float was pulled out of Hamilton’s Labour Day Parade an hour before festivities were to begin after all of the participants, including the flatbed truck t…

Local woman runs at night because her greatest motivator is fear

KINGSTON, ON – Tired of giving up halfway through her daytime workouts, Kate Brown starts all her 5 km runs after 9:30 pm to ensure she stays motivated and afraid. “I’m just not a gym person,” Ka…

Neutral Samaritan takes note of mugging

WINDSOR, ON- An armed mugging was dramatically not foiled last night by local neutral Samaritan Kyle Gierst. Gierst, who witnessed the incident from across the street, took complete notice, and o…

Ruling against Trans Mountain protects Pacific coal tankers from oilsands tankers

VANCOUVER — The landmark ruling against the Trans Mountain Pipeline expansion was heralded as a win for BCs massive pod of coal tankers and the people who love them. “Today we can res…