Conservatives denounce PM for not paying JWR to go away Iike a Senate scandal

OTTAWA – The Official Opposition is continuing to hound Prime Minister Justin Trudeau by claiming that they would have paid-off off the Justice Minister to keep quiet like they paid Senator…

Kevin Jonas just happy to be included

LOS ANGELES – Excitement over the return of the Jonas Brothers, one of the most successful boy bands of the early 2000s, is burnin’ up all over social media. However, no one is more excited…

Man microdosing LSD macrodoses talking about it

HALIFAX – Local man Gregory Neiman has begun taking small amounts of LSD at regular intervals in order to boost creativity and productivity, while at the same time taking large amounts of t…

Scotiabank Arena says ‘fuck it, 18 bucks for a bottle of water’

TORONTO – Scotiabank Arena, the home of the Toronto Raptors and Toronto Maple Leafs recently announced a change in policy in which they pledge to stop fucking around and unabashedly charge an obs…

Trudeau announces Canada to partner with NASA to send Jody Wilson-Raybould to moon

SAINT-HUBERT, QC – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced Thursday that Canada would be partnering with NASA to put Judy Wilson Raybould in orbit around the moon. “Judy Wilson Raybould is …

Politicians who addressed United We Roll rally insist they were only supporting environmental devastation, not white supremacy

OTTAWA – Several right wing politicians including Andrew Scheer are clarifying that their attendance at a pro-pipeline/anti-immigration rally last week was solely meant to champion the envi…

Stolen Group of Seven painting fortunately only a Frederick Varley

TORONTO – Private gallery owner Richard Grier announced that a Group of Seven painting stolen this week was thankfully was only a piece by Frederick Varley. “You can imagine my distress when I no…

‘Now do you see why I was covering this up?!’ yells Trudeau at reporters

OTTAWA – In the wake of Jody Wilson-Raybauld’s damning testimony an outraged Justin Trudeau spoke to reporters this morning, demanding they apologize for criticizing his prior efforts to st…

Liberals suddenly decide proportional representation might be a good idea after all

OTTAWA – Two years after appearing to break their promise on electoral reform, the Liberal Party made a surprise announcement on Wednesday night that they are again planning to change Canad…

Ontario Dentists relieved they won’t have to work on poor people teeth for at least another 4 years

TORONTO – With the Ontario PC Party in power, Dentists across Ontario are breathing a sigh of relief that they won’t have to work on an additional 4.5 million poor people’s teeth. “Dental c…