After Conservatives surge in polls, Trudeau reminds voters he’s also pretty racist

Ottawa, ON – After strong polling numbers showing the Conservative party’s newfound popularity, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has changed tactics by reminding Canadians he can be j…

Maxime Bernier makes stump speech in ambulance bay

TORONTO – Dozens of PPC supporters joined Maxime Bernier in front of a hospital’s ambulance bay and emergency room where the political leader made his pitch to voters. The angry crowd of ab…

Nostalgic win! This man banged pots for healthcare workers instead of yelling at them

Self-described “nostalgia junkie” Alex Kaur recently turned back the clock when he decided to bang pots in celebration of healthcare workers instead of angrily protesting them. “Every…

Protesters outside of hospital apparently unaware of where laws are made

CALGARY – According to eyewitnesses, a group of anti-vaccine mandate protestors outside of the Foothills Medical Centre appear thoroughly confused as to where or even how Canada passes laws…

Antivaxxer spends day protesting hospital where he’ll spend next month intubated

TORONTO – Local anti-vaccine protestor Brayden Crosby, 32, spent today demonstrating against COVID-19 vaccine mandates outside the hospital where he will coincidentally be admitted for chro…

Workgroup really wishes Gavin and Janice would stop flirting in the Google Doc

VICTORIA – Employees of Hendersin Inc. are getting extremely uncomfortable at the increasingly flirtatious amendments being made by two of their coworkers to a group Google Doc. “I have not…

“Why won’t someone do something about these terrible hospital protests,” says Doug Ford

TORONTO – As Anti-Vaxxers conduct aggressive, threatening protests outside hospitals across Ontario, many Ontarians are expressing outrage and wondering why government officials don’t…

Bored construction worker fantasizes about standing behind different politician during campaign rally

ST. CATHARINES – Local construction worker Peter Wagner, who’s wearing a hardhat and standing with a neutral expression at Liberal MP Randall Turner’s campaign rally, has admitted he’s having fan…

O’Toole promises to personally babysit your child

GATINEAU, QC – Conservative Party Leader Erin O’Toole has offered to personally babysit every Canadian child instead of funding new childcare spaces. “If elected as your prime minister, I w…

Trudeau nervous about losing job, suddenly extends CRB

OTTAWA – In response to recent forecasts that he may not have a job for much longer, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has announced a sudden extension to CRB. “The Canada Recovery Benefit was introd…