EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Jason Kenney is proposing to create more private access to the province’s dying system. The UCP leader says that he has a desire to improve how the government goe…
Alberta
Jason Kenney assures Albertans he still having “Best Fall Ever”
EDMONTON – As Alberta reels from a 4th of COVID wave brought on by relaxed restrictions during the province’s promised “Best Summer Ever”, premier Jason Kenney assured frightened citizens t…
Emergency alert warns Albertans of incompetent premier
EDMONTON – Alberta Emergency Alert has issued a critical alert warning residents of an incompentent premier. Smart phones across the province simultaneously lit up with imminent, life threa…
Following emergency lockdown, Jason Kenney announces impromptu apology Stampede
EDMONTON – Following the announcement of strict new measures to combat the out of control spread of COVID-19, Premier Jason Kenney announced he will make it up to Albertans by holding a sur…
Fully vaccinated Albertans offer Jason Kenney $100 to move back to Ontario, never return
EDMONTON – Fully vaccinated Albertans have offered Premier Jason Kenney $100 if he immediately flies back to his native province and never returns. “We are offering Mr. Kenney a reward for …
Alberta’s COVID restrictions to continue for six more weeks after Jason Kenney sees his shadow
EDMONTON – Alberta’s contentious plan to lift all its COVID restrictions in the middle of a new wave of infections brought on by the Delta variant has been postponed for six weeks after Pre…
Alberta’s children too young to get vaccinated excited to be part of experiment’s control group
EDMONTON – Alberta’s children too young to be vaccinated expressed excitement after the government announced a new, province-wide study of what would happen if all COVID-19 public health me…
Alberta relaxes COVID precautions, demands Trudeau build them a COVID pipeline for exports
EDMONTON – After announcing the removal of most COVID protocols despite rising case numbers, Alberta has publicly called on Ottawa to build them a pipeline expressly for exporting the virus…
Pickup trucks distance selves from Jason Kenney to maintain popularity
EDMONTON – After the publication of several news articles questioning the safety and utility of pickup trucks, Jason Kenney has publicly and loudly given his support to the large, popular v…
Kenney bangs pan to celebrate nurses as they enter meeting to negotiate salary cuts
CALGARY – As representatives from the Nurses’ Union entered the meeting to negotiate how much the Provincial Government would cut their salaries by, Premier Jason Kenney took a moment…
