EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Jason Kenney is taking bold steps at tackling the rapid spread of cases of COVID-19 in the province by expanding the y-axis on all statistical graphs. “The Health…
Hundreds of Leafs fans demand the NHL “stops the steal” of the Stanley Cup
NEW YORK – A loud and boisterous crowd of fans are demanding the NHL stop the conspiracy to steal the Stanley Cup from the Toronto Maple Leafs. Approximately 200 fans protested outside the …
Whole Foods: Wearing poppies would insult our commitment to fascism
OTTAWA – Grocery retailer Whole Foods has banned its employees from wearing the poppy citing its ongoing commitment to fascism. The American multinational supermarket chain owned Amazon sai…
“Manitobans have a proud history of being cheap,” says Premier refusing to hire new health care workers
WINNIPEG – Premier Brian Pallister strategy to employ volunteers as health care workers during a pandemic is all part of proudly fulfilling Manitoba’s stingy reputation. As the pandemic tea…
Canadian border opens express U-turn lanes for fleeing Americans
NIAGARA FALLS – Canada Border Services Agency has announced designated express U-turn lanes for Americans trying to flee to Canada in the event their preferred presidential candidate does n…
Manitoba government responds to packed ICUs with 100 new #RestartMB ads
WINNIPEG – Manitoba Premier Brian Pallister is swiftly responding to the surge of COVID-19 cases in the province with 100 new, state-of-the-art billboards and radio advertisements encouragi…
American man not patriotic enough to vote in upcoming election
OTTAWA – US citizen Andrew Scheer has disappointed his fellow countrymen by refusing to participate in the upcoming US election, sources confirm. Scheer’s lack of care for the future of his…
