OTTAWA – Opposition leader Pierre Poilievre has announced that he will run in a by-election in the conservative stronghold of Battle River-Crowfoot, after being told that he could not run i…
Poilievre vows to stay on as party leader for reasons of being otherwise unemployable
CARLETON, ON – Despite losing his own riding by several thousand votes, Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre has vowed to stay on as party leader due to having absolutely no employment trac…
Struggling young voters choose between guy who will ignore cost of living and guy who will make every problem worse
OTTAWA – As the nation heads to the polls Gen Z and Millennial Canadians report having difficulty choosing between Mark Carney, who has promised to allow cost of living to continue to rise …
Poilievre rushed to safety after actual journalist question makes it past security
CALGARY – During an outdoor campaign rally security rushed a shaken Pierre Poilievre to safety after he was tragically struck by a lone journalist’s question. “Mr. Poilievre was…
Mark Carney questions why struggling young Canadians not setting up offshore tax havens
OTTAWA – At a recent campaign stop, Prime Minister Mark Carney admitted to being genuinely puzzled why more cash-strapped young Canadians aren’t using elite asset management firms to …
Ford insists dubious Therme Spa project met all the necessary bribes
QUEEN’S PARK – Responding to a New York Times exposé claiming that European firm Therme grossly overstated its business experience to land a suspiciously lucrative Ontario Place re-de…
Federal election postponed until all Canadian teams eliminated from playoffs
OTTAWA – After rescheduling tonight’s French language leaders debate to accommodate a Montreal Canadiens playoff game, Elections Canada has announced that the entire federal election …
US campaign entices Canada tourists: “Come visit America and also maybe El Salvador!”
OTTAWA – Following months of declining Canadian travel to the USA, Americans have launched a tourism campaign inviting Canadians to visit locations like New York, Austin, and possibly even …
Harper returns in attempt to make Poilievre look charismatic
EDMONTON – Former Prime Minister Stephen Harper appeared at a Pierre Poilievre campaign rally this week, in an attempt to make the current Conservative leader appear human and likeable by c…
Canada waiting for US economy to implode enough to make America 11th province
OTTAWA – With the stock market plunged into chaos by U.S. President Donald Trump’s sweeping tariffs, Canadians have decided to simply wait out America’s forthcoming economic col…
