PALO ALTO, CA – With Silicon Valley boasting that artificial intelligence could replace millions of jobs around the world, currently laid-off workers have reported having more free time to …
Justin Trudeau offers tips on political dynasties to Iran’s newly-chosen supreme leader, Mojtaba Khamenei
TEHRAN – Mojtaba Khamenei, the son of Iran’s recently-assassinated Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, has been chosen as the country’s new supreme leader, leading to call from former Canad…
NS budget shortfalls force Tim Houston to eliminate ocean
HALIFAX – After months of slashing provincial revenue, Nova Scotia Premier Tim Houston has announced that he has been forced to entirely cut the Atlantic Ocean from the province. Since winn…
Carney says he supports US invading Iran, Cuba, and possibly Canada “with some regret”
“It’s a good thing that Trump is the most peaceful president in history who ends all wars, right?” This week host Clare Blackwood and the Panel (Megan MacKay, Nile Séguin, and s…
Trump assures Congress that Netanyahu has a plan for Iran invasion
WASHINGTON D.C. – Faced with criticism that he has no strategy or timeline for his sudden invasion of Iran, President Trump insisted to Congress that a plan does exist and that it has been …
“Pierre is the Conservative Party’s Justin Trudeau” reads tearful Poilievre in CPC men’s room
“I used to say Conservatives weren’t funny, but now I’m changing my mind. That’s a savage burn.” This week Ian and the Panel (Megan MacKay, Nile Séguin, and special …
Heated Rivalry fans unfamiliar with concept hockey players might be gross
TORONTO – Fans of the smash hit romance show Heated Rivalry, many of whom have also become fans of hockey, are expressing confusion at the discovery that the overwhelming majority of real l…
Canada credits gold medal curling win to expert fingering
MILANO-CORTINA – With Canada’s mens team defeating Great Britain to clinch gold in the Winter Olympics, Canadian skip Brad Jacobs is crediting the victory to his team’s delicate…
Ford warns OSAP students not to pick ‘basket-weaving courses’, pick ‘inherit trust fund’ courses instead
QUEEN’S PARK – In the wake of cuts to higher education loans, Ontario Premier Doug Ford has encouraged students “not to pick basket-weaving courses”, and instead to follow…
U.S. legal scholars baffled as Prince Andrew arrested for Epstein ties, Korean president sentenced for insurrection
WASHINGTON, D.C. – America’s top legal minds have reported utter bafflement at the news that former prince Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor was arrested by U.K. police due to his connections with…
