TALLAHASSEE, FL – Ghislaine Maxwell, former girlfriend of financier and convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, has reportedly offered up a list of 100 names of individuals who are connecte…
Cottage Country summit stalls as premiers clash over who is next in line to ride inner tube
MUSKOKA, ON – Talks at the First Ministers meeting, held this year in Ontario cottage country, have broken down as the assembled premiers immediately disagreed over who was next in line to …
Trump tempted to release Epstein Files just to see own name in print
MAR-A-LAGO, FL – While steadfastly refusing to answer questions surrounding his ties to notorious sex criminal Jeffrey Epstein, U.S. President Donald Trump has reportedly considered releasi…
RCMP apprehend Quebec terrorists after discovering manifesto written only in English
QUEBEC CITY, QC – Four men involved in an far right terror plot were arrested this week by RCMP, not for plotting terrorism, but for releasing a written manifesto that was not properly tran…
‘Calgary Stab-pede’ merch already sold out
CALGARY – Following a shocking spate of non-fatal stabbings at this year’s Calgary Stampede, reports are that the even has already sold out of hastily-commissioned “Calgary Stab…
Carney reveals axing Digital Services Tax was Trump’s Canada Day present
Canada turned 158, and Donald Trump got to open one of his presents early! Ian and the Panel (Nile Séguin, plus special guests Andrew Ivimey and Diana McCallum) discuss how that “elbows up” thing…
Zuckerberg “The average person has 3 friends, and Facebook is working to get that lower”
MENLO PARK, CA – In a recent statement to shareholders, Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg explained that the average American only had three in-person friendships, and that Facebook plans to reduce …
Trump urges Americans to just remember whatever bullshit let them support Iraq War
WASHINGTON D.C. – With Trump’s order to bomb Middle Eastern nuclear sites potentially drawing the United States into a war with Iran, the President urged all Americans to recall whate…
Trump demands Nobel Peace Prize for starting war with Iran
WASHINGTON D.C. – U.S. President Donald Trump is demanding that he be immediately awarded a Nobel Peace Prize as a reward for single-handedly sparking a potential Third World War with the n…
America announces reboot of early 2000’s Middle Eastern war
“Despite franchise fatigue with Marvel and Star Wars, U.S. and Israeli producers are releasing a big-budget reboot of the blockbuster property.” Party at Carney’s house! Ian and…
