OTTAWA – Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre has launched a petition to “end DEI programs and restore merit”, just months after losing his own heavily-favoured seat before runn…
New sportsbetting app boasts 80% addiction rate
TORONTO – A popular new sportsbetting app, BetDuel Sportsbook & Casino, advertises “all the fun of sportsbetting and casino slots right in your pocket, plus 4 in 5 odds of develo…
Creators of AI-generated actress unsure if coolest part is the creepiness or the stealing
PALO ALTO, CA – The inventors of Tilly Norwood, a computer generated character built using artificial intelligence, enthusiastically insist their creation is both unsettlingly lifeless and …
Entire Trump Gaza Plan just QR code linking to Nobel Peace Prize nomination site
WASHINGTON D.C. – With representatives of the Israeli government, as well as Hamas, meeting to discuss a potential U.S.-brokered peace, delegates have reportedly been surprised to find that…
Economy stalls as Canada Post strike prevents grandmothers from mailing birthday money
OTTAWA – The ongoing Canada Post strike has impacted the ability of grandmothers across the nation to send you “a few dollars” on your birthday, which has been discovered to be …
America’s influencers suspiciously all start endorsing feudalism
PALO ALTO, CA – Across the United States and Canada social media users have noticed a recent trend of influencers heartily endorsing a system of landowning elites extracting service and lab…
Return of Jimmy Kimmel Show cheered by frazzled parents who white knuckled it through a weekend without Disney+
BURBANK, CA – The Walt Disney Company has announced late night host Jimmy Kimmel will return to ABC, a move cheered by free speech advocates and even more so by exhausted parents who cancel…
US Ambassador threatens to tariff, annex, and bomb Canada if anti-American sentiment doesn’t improve
OTTAWA – U.S. Ambassador Pete Hoekstra has vowed to improve anti-American sentiment he sees in Canada, no matter how many illegal tariffs, forced annexations, or literal bombs it takes to d…
Robert Munsch announces he will choose MAID program, also even sadder new ending to “Love You Forever”
GUELPH, ON – Canadian children’s author Robert Munsch announced this week that he he has chosen a medically assisted death because of his dementia diagnosis, as well as writing an upd…
Putin assures world no one evil has ever tried to invade Poland
MOSCOW – After Russian drones were intercepted inside Polish airspace, Russian President Vladimir Putin issued a statement assuring the world that no evil person throughout history has ever…
