WASHINGTON D.C. – Following the death of Minneapolis resident Renee Nicole Good, Trump Administration officials are unanimously insisting the officer who shot her had completed his routine …
Furious Trump demands to know why Minneapolis shooting hasn’t sparked civil war yet
MAR-A-LAGO, FL – Following the shooting death of a Minneapolis woman at the hands of ICE agents, President Donald Trump is ordering Americans to “hurry the fuck up” descending i…
Chrystia Freeland’s first act as Ukrainian economic advisor is suggesting they cancel Disney+
OTTAWA – After accepting a role as economic advisor to Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelenskyy, Canadian MP Chrystia Freeland has begun by suggesting citizens of the war-ravaged country can…
Canadian alcoholics reject Kentucky bourbon for getting drunk at work
OTTAWA – With millions returning to work after the holidays, Kentucky bourbon is out and Canadian spirits are in as the choice for Canada’s alcoholics who cannot help but drink on the…
Poilievre lights emergency flares to beg Trump to invade Canada
OTTAWA – Canadian Opposition Leader Pierre Poilievre was reportedly seen lighting emergency flares, in hopes that U.S. President Donald Trump would “liberate” Canada in the same…
Carney promises 2026 will see huge economic growth that will absolutely not include you
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney has vowed that 2026 will see huge economic growth for Canada’s GDP, manufacturing, and exports, none of which will redound to you in the slightest.…
Canada names Mark Carney ‘2025 Man Of The Year Unless Anyone Better Comes Along’
“I know we’ve had many pictures of Mark Carney on our website… but I’m not entirely sure I could pick him out of a lineup.” Hit the bricks, you stupid year! Ian and …
Carney, Zelensky meet in Halifax to boost Ukraine defence by enlisting Barrett’s Privateers
HALIFAX – Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney will meet today with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy in the Nova Scotian city of Halifax, where the two will set about turning the of R…
“This is totally the World Juniors” says woman trying to trick her boyfriend into watching Heated Rivalry
SUDBURY, ON – Local girlfriend Ashlynn Timbers is currently monitoring her boyfriend as he watches the program she told him was the World Juniors Hockey Tournament, but is in fact the steam…
Carney urges Canadians to make holiday donations to struggling shareholders
OTTAWA – In light of economic difficulties facing the nation, Prime Minister Mark Carney reminded Canadians to pause their own holiday celebrations and give generously to billionaire shareh…
