CAMROSE, AB – Speaking to a rally in the closing days of this summer’s by-election, Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre assured voters that electing him would ensure that they would …
Trump demands 20% gratuity for selling Ukraine to Putin
ANCHORAGE, AK – International political observers are stunned today after U.S. President Donald Trump made the controversial move of asking Russian President Vladimir Putin for a 20% gratui…
“I probably did something to it” says man whose back just like that now
KAMLOOPS, BC – Despite the fact that his age is clearly responsible for his persistent lower back pain, local man Alex Verders, 39, is reportedly clinging to the belief that an unexplained …
Nation’s mothers hail 18-year-old tennis champion Victoria Mboko as new unattainable standard for you to live up to
OTTAWA – Following Canadian tennis phenom Victoria Mboko’s victory at the National Bank Open final, the Canadian Association Of Pressuring Mothers has proclaimed her as their new base…
Trump says Canada backing Palestinian statehood jeopardizes U.S. trade deal he was gonna break anyway
WASHINGTON D.C. – U.S.President Donald Trump has announced that Canada’s decision to recognize Palestinian statehood will “make it very hard for us to make a Trade Deal with them, which I h…
The 100 names Ghislaine Maxwell named as being on the Epstein List
TALLAHASSEE, FL – Ghislaine Maxwell, former girlfriend of financier and convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, has reportedly offered up a list of 100 names of individuals who are connecte…
Cottage Country summit stalls as premiers clash over who is next in line to ride inner tube
MUSKOKA, ON – Talks at the First Ministers meeting, held this year in Ontario cottage country, have broken down as the assembled premiers immediately disagreed over who was next in line to …
Trump tempted to release Epstein Files just to see own name in print
MAR-A-LAGO, FL – While steadfastly refusing to answer questions surrounding his ties to notorious sex criminal Jeffrey Epstein, U.S. President Donald Trump has reportedly considered releasi…
RCMP apprehend Quebec terrorists after discovering manifesto written only in English
QUEBEC CITY, QC – Four men involved in an far right terror plot were arrested this week by RCMP, not for plotting terrorism, but for releasing a written manifesto that was not properly tran…
‘Calgary Stab-pede’ merch already sold out
CALGARY – Following a shocking spate of non-fatal stabbings at this year’s Calgary Stampede, reports are that the even has already sold out of hastily-commissioned “Calgary Stab…
