EDMONTON – Rather than accepting defeat in Tuesday’s Referendum and disappearing forever, as most Albertans hoped, separatist leaders are calling to extend the vote “playoff style” to a best-of-seven series.
“A one-and-done vote tells you nothing,” said prominent separatist and hat wearer Jeffrey Rath. “Did we really lose, or were we just having an off night? It takes a best-of-seven series to really tease out who’s the better team.”
Rath went on to justify the longer, more expensive voting process for its entertainment value. “Fair democratic processes are fine, but there’s no drama. Now, if we held more votes and made a stunning comeback like the ‘24 Oilers that’s a story. And I’ve always thought I bear a certain resemblance to McDavid,” said Rath.
Fellow separatist organizer David Parker claimed the single voting day created a number of strikes against his camp that would be mitigated by a best-of-seven series. “The Tuesday vote meant a lot of us had to choose between the polling station and a new episode of NCIS: Origins. How is that fair?” Parker said a potential “game two” of voting should be held “on whatever day that drag racing show is on, to balance things out.”
When asked what they would do if they get swept 4-0 in a best of seven referendum, Rath assured voters they would accept defeat. “After all, there’s always next year.”
