TORONTO – Only a month after unveiling their well received streaming film service, the Toronto Public Library has been valued at just under $10,000,000,000.00
“With Netflix, Hulu, Amazon and Crave we weren’t sure the market was ready for yet another player,” said financial analyst Jon Kim. “But clearly the business model of delivering high quality arthouse cinema while charging zero dollars a month is resonating with consumers.”
“If they are able to expand beyond just people who forgot they had a library card until the announcement, then Netflix better watch its back,” he added.
The service already carries numerous Canadian and global films and there is even talk of adding original programming, including a documentary about the inventor of the dewey decimal system and a horror film where sexy teens are stalked by late fees.
Head librarian and overnight millionaire Madge advised reporters that, “We thought this would just be a nice service our members could use for free, but then once Wall Street found out about it things got a little crazy. Also could you please keep it down, people are trying to read.”
At press time the fire department will still worth nothing, the useless fucks.
