The race to see who will succeed Erin O’Toole as ‘Prime Minister In Waiting For The Liberals To Do Another Scandal’ is on! And there are so many characters involved, from fun 90s throwbacks like Jean Charest, to fun 50s social views throwbacks like Leslyn Lewis. But that begs the question: which candidate are you? And why is it Canada’s Ted Cruz himself Pierre Poilievre?! Seriously what’s wrong with you? Take this fun quiz to find out!
1. What's your favourite colour?
Red, like the colour of my enemies blood as it boils from my questions during Question Period
Blue and White, like the fleur-de-lis of my home province
2. What's your favourite movie?
The Godfather, but only the scene with the horse's head
Maman est chez le coiffeur
3. What's your favourite song
All You Need Is Love
Whatever teenagers are into these days
An audiobook playing at 2.5x speed
Anything by Celine Dion
4. Your perfect day is
Reading in bed
Settling a defamation lawsuit with CTV News
Watching clips of yourself talking
Capably managing the government of Quebec from 2003-2012
5. Your idea of a fun night out is
Drinks with close friends
Things that were covered by the defamation lawsuit with CTV News
Making everyone in the bar watch a clip of you talking
Dinner with your wife Michelle and children Amelie, Antoine and Alexander
6. If you were Prime Minister you would
Balance the budget
Use the title to get in to all the coolest parties
Burn the CBC building to the ground and make the cast of Heartland watch
Govern as a centrist just like you, Jean Charest, did when you were Premier of Quebec
7. If you could go anywhere in the world you'd go to
I'm happy in my home of Sherbrooke. Did I mention my name is Jean Charest?
Quiz: Which Conservative leadership candidate are you, and why is it Pierre Poilievre you sick fuck?
You are Pierre Poilievre!
You may have thought you weren't gonna get this because you clicked on the answers that were clearly about other politicians. But we were pretty clear in the title of this quiz that you were gonna get Pierre Poilievre. And you know that, deep down, that is who you are. You need to work on yourself before you end up just like him. You can do it. We believe in you.