MONTREAL, QC – It was a typical Friday night for Kenneth McPherson as he called a 2 A.M. Uber Share on Montreal’s nightlife-ridden St. Lawrence street. Little did he know, 3 blocks away, on…
Tag: Uber
Uber lobbies provincial governments to classify its drivers as livestock
VICTORIA – Uber Technologies Inc. is petitioning provincial governments to enact regulatory changes to allow Uber and other companies to provide gig workers with all the benefits and safety…
Local woman celebrates Valentine’s Day by refusing to speak to any man dead or alive
Niagara, ON – Today 29-year-old Marcia Fitzgibbons discovered a novel approach to celebrating Valentine’s Day while single: completely icing out every last man on this godforsaken earth, an…
Uber driver has good chuckle about how he almost killed you both
TORONTO – This week, an Uber driver nearly drove his car into oncoming traffic, then made brief eye contact with you in the rearview mirror while chuckling about it. Rather than pulling over, or …
Millennial contract killer struggles in gig economy
TORONTO – As the gig economy continues to devastate any sense of job security among millennials, the hitman industry has been one of the hardest hits. “Jesus Christ, I mean, you’ve got civilian U…
Nation terrified after Uber hack threatens to reveal our embarrassing Uber history
Watch this exclusive clip from The Beaverton.…
Medical AI working as self-driving car after foreign credentials rejected
WATERLOO – After having its medical credentials rejected due to their overseas origin by professional health organizations, an artificial intelligence smart enough to be a doctor has only b…
Inspiring! Company sex robot appointed first female CEO of Uber
SAN FRANCISCO – Uber, the world-conquering ride share and regulation-dodging app, has taken the bold step of appointing its first ever female CEO: Ashlynn Haze, the company sex robot. “We realize…
Taxi company balks at being regulated like a taxi company
MONTREAL – Popular ride-sharing app Uber, which, for all intents and purposes, is a taxi company, has announced it will leave Québec after being asked to follow the same rules already appli…
Uber CEO replaced by sleep-deprived foreign student who really needs the cash
SAN FRANCISCO – After months of upheaval within the company, Travis Kalanick has stepped down as the CEO of Uber and will be replaced by a tired foreign student who has to pick up a few ext…