TORONTO – In a unanimous decision The Court Of Appeal For Ontario has declared that no individual ought to be forced to watch the 2019-2020 Leafs play, on account of the overwhelming levels…
Tag: Toronto maple leafs
Rest of Canada relieved they no longer have to cheer for Boston
MONTREAL – With the Boston’s 5-1 victory in game seven of the first round of the NHL playoffs, millions of Canadians expressed relief that they no longer have to passively watch and vindict…
‘Maybe this is the year the Leafs beat Boston,’ says delusional idiot who doesn’t know shit
TORONTO – Local man Dennis Hendricks believes this could be the year the Leafs finally end their playoff losing streak against the Boston Bruins, mostly because he’s a dumb fuck who says du…
Leafs tickets 33% off since team only plays two periods
TORONTO – The Toronto Maple Leafs are offering discounted tickets that are two-thirds of the price as the team only seems to play for 40 minutes. The team’s box office has given fans a brea…
Scotiabank Arena says ‘fuck it, 18 bucks for a bottle of water’
TORONTO – Scotiabank Arena, the home of the Toronto Raptors and Toronto Maple Leafs recently announced a change in policy in which they pledge to stop fucking around and unabashedly charge an obs…
Toronto Maple Leafs promise strong start to hockey season will not affect ability to lose playoffs
TORONTO, ON – Despite winning 7 out of 10 games so far this hockey season, Toronto Maple Leafs Head Coach Sheldon Keefe reassured fans that the team’s impressive performance will not impact their…
Young, ambitious Leafs GM hopes to climb the ladder to better NHL teams
TORONTO – 32-year-old Kyle Dubas has accepted a temporary gig as General Manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs hoping to gain some valuable experience before he moves on to a more successful t…
Inspiring! Leafs restore normalcy to Toronto by collapsing in playoffs
The Toronto Maple Leafs have restored a sense of normalcy to their city since a deadly attack earlier this week by collapsing in the third period of game seven against the Boston Bruins. “We had …
Leafs excited for playoffs to start
TORONTO – After two “friendlies” in Boston, Toronto Maple Leafs Players say they are excited to finally play in the NHL playoffs. “Obviously the warm-up games were fun,…
Quiz: Are you one of the 96 ordinary citizens worthy of Leafs playoff tickets?
Only 96 Toronto Maple Leafs playoff tickets were available to the public for the team’s first home game. Are you worthy of one?…
