WASHINGTON – Following the killing of Alex Jeffrey Pretti in Minneapolis, FBI director Kash Patel has advised American citizens participating in anti-ICE demonstrations to leave their firearms at…
Tag: politics
PEI waiting for someone to notice they voted to separate from Canada in 2019
CHARLOTTETOWN – The Premier of Prince Edward Island, apparently someone named Rob Lantz, released a statement demanding a response from Ottawa on the 2019 separation referendum that resulte…
Carney orders staffers to bow before speaking to him
OTTAWA – The Prime Minister’s Office has issued a directive that all staffers and civil servants must bow before speaking to Prime Minister Carney. “Upon entering a room in whic…
Poilievre prevents more MPs from leaving party by locking doors, swallowing key
OTTAWA – In an effort to prevent any more defections from caucus, party leader Pierre Poilievre has reportedly locked all Conservative MPs in an undisclosed room in Parliament Hill before swallow…
We ranked the NDP leadership candidates by how likely they are to disappoint you
As Jagmeet Singh’s disastrous run of the NDP has shown, left wing politicians will always inevitably let you down. Whether it’s relentlessly pushing to the centre to court more votes, never enact…
Carney reduces Trudeau’s tree planting program from 2 billion trees to 2
“It’s a minor revision to the program’s goals.” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood and Megan MacKay) dive into the details of Mark Carney’s budget, s…
President Trump pardons the Hamburglar
McDonalds, D.C. – US President Donald Trump has added to his list of pardons another well-known criminal, McDonald’s mascot The Hamburglar. “He is a really great guy, this guy,” stated Trum…
Trump responds to Reagan ad with own commercial featuring Jean Chrétien strangling protestor
Shawinigan, Quebec – US President Donald Trump has responded to Ford’s anti-tariff commercial with his own anti-protestor commercial featuring previous Canadian prime minister Jean Chrétien…
PM Carney announces Charter of Rights to be renamed Charter of Optional Ideas
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney held a press conference today to announce a renaming of the “Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms”, the document that enshrined our foundational set o…
Danielle Smith says Canada has some of the lowest living standards in the world thanks to her hard work
Calgary, Alberta – Alberta Premier Danielle Smith has made headlines after stating that Canada has some of the lowest living standards in the world thanks mostly to her time in office. “I e…
