TORONTO – With the NHL’s all-Canadian North Division being given permission to dine indoors in certain Ontario restaurants, local Mack Blastor’s server Tom Kramer says he is thrilled …
Tag: Auston Matthews
Having to watch Leafs play now considered cruel and unusual punishment
TORONTO – In a unanimous decision The Court Of Appeal For Ontario has declared that no individual ought to be forced to watch the 2019-2020 Leafs play, on account of the overwhelming levels…
Scotiabank Arena says ‘fuck it, 18 bucks for a bottle of water’
TORONTO – Scotiabank Arena, the home of the Toronto Raptors and Toronto Maple Leafs recently announced a change in policy in which they pledge to stop fucking around and unabashedly charge an obs…
Referee reverses call after man yells at TV loud enough
ORILLIA, ON – Upon hearing that he’d made a “bullshit call” from a distant voice that powered its way through the television screen, an NHL referee reversed his penalty decision this evenin…
Toronto Maple Leafs celebrate world’s longest running uncorrected spelling mistake
TORONTO – Today the Toronto Maple Leafs commemorate a 100 year milestone: having a name containing a spelling mistake that has lasted without correction longer than any other spelling mista…
Ottawa Senators season ticket package to include free Leafs jersey
OTTAWA – Capitalizing on popular demand, the NHL’s Ottawa Senators announced this week that their upcoming season ticket package will include one free Toronto Maple Leafs jersey with the na…
Beaverton Sports Network: How Will the Leafs Ruin Auston Matthews?
Meet the boys of the Beaverton Sports Network as they show you huge hits, sweet snipes, and a deep, uncompromising affection for one another. Today they debate the question we all have bee…
Auston Matthews retires as greatest Leaf in franchise history
OTTAWA – After a breakout rookie campaign, a successful sophomore season and an overtime winner in game 1 of the 2018/2019 NHL season Auston Matthews announced his retirement. Experts and p…
Auston Matthews injured while putting on Leafs jersey
BUFFALO, NY – Auston Matthews, the Toronto Maple Leaf’s number one draft pick for the 2016 draft, has been injured while putting on his first personalized Toronto Maple Leafs jersey. “He’s …
Toronto Maple Leafs announce route for Draft Lottery victory parade
TORONTO – After an amazing come from behind win catapulted the Leafs to their first such victory in decades, the team has revealed the time and place of their upcoming Draft Lottery victory…