LONDON, ON – During the office’s yearly exchange of Secret Santa gifts, Daniel Cohen, a Jewish HR manager, received one small menorah from associate-VP of marketing, Karen Welsh. “Well isn’t th...
In honour of former South African President, Obama renames Guantanamo Bay “Mandela Cove”
WASHINGTON – Upon his return from South Africa, President Obama announced his plan to honour Nelson Mandela by changing the name of the military prison Guantanamo Bay to “Mandela Cove”. “As I said in ...
RCMP to find missing PMO emails by asking NSA
OTTAWA – To aid in its investigation of the Duffy-Wright expense scandal, the RCMP is seeking help from the NSA. “We have no working relationship with the PMO, or the Senate,” said C...
Local white woman’s Chinese character tattoo reads ‘strength, cultural appropriation’
WELLAND, ON – A caucasian woman has impressed her friends and family with a new tattoo written in Chinese calligraphy that symbolizes her values of strength and appropriating a cultural symbol t...
SA sign language interpreter believed he was at shadow puppet competition
JOHANNESBURG – The man who stands accused of faking sign language during the Nelson Mandela memorial service is claiming that he was actually there for the annual South African Shadow Puppet com...
Gifts in WestJet’s viral Christmas video taken from Air Canada’s lost luggage
TORONTO — In a move contrary to the apparent benevolence, most of the presents in the WestJet’s Christmas Miracle video were taken from Air Canada’s lost luggage room, re-boxed, wrapped, a...
Man that survived three days in boat air-pocket can’t adjust to non-air-pocket life
LAGOS – Months after being rescued from an air-pocket in an Atlantic shipwreck, Nigerian cook Harrison Odjegba Okene has decided that he’s not cut out for life on the “outside” anymore. “The fir...
Wikileaks Secret Santa ends prematurely when identity of Secret Santa is posted online
THE INTERNET – What started as an effort to boost the morale of the activists who make up Wikileaks turned into a disaster Thursday when the details of the website’s Secret Santa gift exchange w...
Entire nation stuck behind single, slow-walking man
CANADA – Industry, government, and social gatherings ground to a halt today as every Canadian citizen found themselves unable to get around an Edmonton man out for a very leisurely stroll. “Damm...
Harper hopes cyberbullying law puts an end to circulating snapchats of Mulcair’s nipple
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Harper announced in a press conference yesterday that he sincerely hopes his anti-cyberbullying bill will end the disturbing stream of continuous and aggressive Snapchats...
