TORONTO – Sources close to thoughtful, highly literate, yet whimsical 19-year-old Kyle Wendcott alerted press yesterday that in a characteristically tasteful move, he has named his new pet kitte...
Employee improves net earnings by using less effort per hour
KING CITY, ON – With the likelihood of an increase in minimum wage diminishing with each passing increase in the cost of living, one man is bucking this trend by working less to increase his per...
Trudeau gaffes on son’s birth certificate adding ‘H’ to Adrian
OTTAWA – Justin Trudeau is proudly celebrating the arrival of his third child by misspelling the poor newborn’s name on the birth certificate. “It was a joke” explained an amused Trudeau. “I thought i...
Quebec’s Language Police fines anglophone family for writing ‘Toronto’ in English on moving boxes
MONTREAL – The Miller family’s flight from Quebec’s increasingly stringent language laws hit a snag on Thursday when the province’s language police fined them $3,000 for writing Toronto in Engli...
Rob Ford dares Police Chief to arrest him before he poisons the Gotham reservoir
TORONTO – At a press conference, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford challenged Police Chief Bill Blair to apprehend him before he could carry out “yet another fiendishly wicked stroke of criminal genius”, and the...
Cannibal angry about lack of humanitarian options on menu
OTTAWA – After being refused human meat at a local restaurant, neighbourhood cannibal Frank Willis is charging that nearby eateries are discriminating against a lifestyle choice that emphasizes ...
PMO showcases free lunch program for disadvantaged staffers, cabinet ministers
OTTAWA – The Harper government is demonstrating its profound empathy for the disenfranchised political class with a $68,000 lunch program for disadvantaged PMO staff and cabinet ministers. “It’s not l...
RCMP bust major Canadian Tire money counterfeit, laundering operation
MONCTON – The RCMP have arrested twelve people in connection to an advanced Canadian Tire money counterfeit and laundering operation, seizing over $10 million in Canadian Tire currency. Police b...
Study: everything organic when the regular garbage doesn’t have a bag in it
TORONTO – A new study by the University of Toronto has confirmed citizens’ long held belief that, if the regular garbage bin has no bag, all the refuse in your house has become organic. &#...
