MONTREAL — After the Tampa Bay Rays obtained permission to play half their home games in Montreal, city officials have quickly been dispatched to shoo away the several thousand roving dogs currently i...
End of tampon tax leaves only 3,424 areas of gender inequality remaining
OTTAWA – With the announcement that GST will no longer apply to feminine hygiene products after July 1st, the Harper government has managed to stamp out nearly 1/3000th of the gender inequality ...
Struggling used book store tries its hand at happy endings
MONTREAL – Used bookshop The Blot & Feather has attracted a swell in once dwindling customers with a novel solution; to exclusively offer happy endings with every purchase. Owner Bernard Whi...
New generation of e-cigarettes will provide authentic cancer experience
CANADA – In a recent breakthrough by electronic cigarette manufacturers the next generation of e-cigarettes on the market will cause cancer and other complications, giving what distributors are ...
OPP investigating RCMP probing Senators reviewing RCMP scrutinizing OPP union
OTTAWA – The Ontario Provincial Police’s report on the RCMP’s response to the Parliamentary shootings last October may be overshadowed by the RCMP investigating the same Senators who will soon b...
The Economist magazine ‘mind-numbingly boring,’ says City of Vancouver
VANCOUVER – Responding to criticism from the weekly news magazine The Economist, the City of Vancouver held a press conference Tuesday to publicly decry the magazine’s lack of danger or exciteme...
Hydro-Quebec boosts profits with freeze-ray
MONTREAL – After seeing the company’s revenue decline in previous years, Hydro-Quebec’s decision to use a freeze ray to chill the province has resulted in a massive income boost. The ray, which ...
Report: Oil found in Northwest Territories will be just enough to doom humanity
NORTHWEST TERRITORIES – Geological scientists announced earlier this week that the 200 billion barrels of shale oil discovered in the Northwest Territories would be adequate to push humanity ove...
Comedian deftly handles heckler’s demand to see boobs by being male
TORONTO – Local stand-up comedian Jeff Brian told reporters today how he swiftly and professionally dealt with a rowdy audience member repeatedly shouting “show us your tits” by being a male rat...
Michael Sam becomes latest openly anglophone Montrealer
MONTREAL – A year after becoming the first openly gay football player to be drafted by the NFL, defensive end Michael Sam has become just the latest in a long line of public anglophones inhabiti...
