SEATTLE – Attendees at this summer’s Seattle Zombie Walk met a gruesome and wholly predictable end after taking a detour through the nearby 2015 Husqvarna Chainsaw Expo. The annual Zombie Walk, ...
Whitehorse tourism tram replaced with high speed bullet train
WHITEHORSE — Unveiling a much faster way of showcasing the city to visitors, the Whitehorse Waterfront Trolley will be replaced with a Japanese-built high speed bullet train capable of reaching ...
QUIZ: What is your white name?
1. What’s your favourite colour? a) Violet b) Fire Engine Red c) Hawthorne Yellow d) Sky Blue 2. Are you a cat person or a dog person? a) Cat b) Dog 3. Where is your summer home? a) Muskoka b) The Ham...
Local man tidies small corner of apartment for Skype call with parents
HALIFAX – Local veterinary technician Brian Chambers, 27, has reportedly cleaned a small fraction of his one bedroom apartment in advance of a Skype call with his parents, in hopes of creating t...
China now outperforming U.S. at economic meltdowns
BEIJING – Following decades of surpassing the United States in education, manufacturing, and international trade, China is now outperforming its American rivals at economic meltdowns. “It’s super frus...
*Editorial Redacted*
BY: MARGARET ATWOOD ██████████ ████████████████████████████████████████████████████ ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ ███████████████████████████████████████████████...
Scouts cautioned not to feed wild animals hungry for votes
COMOX, BC — Scouts Canada have reminded all members that they should never approach or feed wild politicians. The announcement comes after a close call for three scouts who came very near to a v...
Harper defends current chief of staff stating he’s at least a year away from prosecution
OTTAWA — Prime Minister Stephen Harper defended his current chief of staff’s involvement in the Duffy affair stating that he’s still got plenty of time before authorities catch up to him. Harper...
Mulcair hastily flushes pot legislation down toilet after parents come home early
OTTAWA – After being surprised by his parents early arrival, NDP leader Thomas Mulcair was forced to dispose of his draft for a marijuana legalization bill. “Oh fuck! Oh fuck!” said Mulcair, see...
RBC unveils new savings account to pay for banking fees
TORONTO — Canada’s largest, most profitable bank announced today customers can now open a high interest savings account solely reserved for paying the bank’s lavish charges and fees. “RBC wants ...
