Harper announces continuation of 4 year election ad campaign
OTTAWA — With Governor General David Johnston by his side at Rideau Hall, Prime Minister Stephen Harper has officially informed the Canadian public that advertisements for the election will…
Cool new website aggregates content directly from people’s homes
NEW YORK – Only six months old and already challenging New Media titans like BuzzFeed and the Huffington Post, the viral media website Stufftaker is overtaking social networks with original…
Midlife crisis averted by motorcycle accident
Although divorced and in his late forties, local man James Baucher has managed to avoid a midlife crisis by becoming involved in a severe motorcycle accident. “He was really hasty and desperate t…
Shy man so close to getting his comment in
Red Deer, Alberta – Notoriously shy Red Deer College student Gavin Desautels came incredibly close to getting an anecdote in about Radiohead during a conversation at a friend’s house party.…
Chinese sweatshop workers already hard at work making snow
BEIJING – Mere hours after being awarded the 2022 Olympic Games Chinese officials say government sweatshop workers are already working 18 hour days to make the snow that will be featured ac…
Whitehorse changes name to ‘Yellowknife’ to avoid confusion
YELLOWKNIFE (Formerly known as WHITEHORSE) – To simplify things for Canadians living in large southern urban centers with no sense of northern geography, the City of Whitehorse will be chan…
New study finds that you fucked with the wrong scientists
OTTAWA – A recent discovery has shown that you fucked with the wrong practitioners of hypothetico-deductive methodology. “As in all science, we started by formulating a question: how badly …
Canadian ex-pats lose right to forget to vote from abroad
OTTAWA – A recent Court of Appeal ruling states that expatriate Canadians will no longer be eligible to intend to vote, then fail to “mail the thing in”, before forgetting about…
New VR headset allows viewer to experience porn from perspective of guy watching porn on computer
MONTREAL — Thanks to the numerous advances being made in the field of virtual reality, the pornographic production company Brazzers has unveiled a brand-new VR headset that finally allows viewers…
New edition of Slip ‘N Slide comes with built-in rocks
EMERYVILLE, CA – A classic summer toy for children, the Slip ‘N Slide is getting a 21st-century makeover, with the new design featuring built-in chunks of stuff that hurts the human body. “…
