After Pierre Poilievre described an electrician as someone who “captures lightning from the sky and runs it through a copper wire to illuminate this room and light up the world” we sat dow...
EDITORIAL: Without more funding, how can CBC support original Canadian executive bonuses?
By CBC President Catherine Tait As the CBC is faced with yet another round of unfair budget cuts resulting in the unavoidable layoffs of more than 600 employees, it is clear what is at risk: CBC execu...
Tinder guy concerned after photo of woman reveals she has physical body
Tinder, iPhone – Local Tinder user Mack Smith has reconsidered messaging a woman on Tinder after seeing concerning photos hinting that she might occupy physical space. “I saw the name ‘Veronica’...
Canadian Politicians New Year’s Resolutions
We asked the biggest names in Canadian politics what they hope to accomplish in the new year. Here is what they had to say:...
Our rankings of this year’s Best and Worst Grandmas
With the year almost at an end, join as we rate the best and worst grams, grammys, gam-gams, and gamilgans on display over the past 12 months: 1) BEST – Gramma Bess What an absolute champio...
Old acquaintance accidentally forgot, never brought to mind
News in Photos (kinda). Happy New Year!...
Breakout star of reality show based at “The Nanny” action-figure factory says “I’m not here to make Frans”
NEW YORK CITY – Fans of the new series Nanny Knickknacks, which focuses on the high-pressure drama at Brooklyn’s premier factory for manufacturing action figures based on the hit sitcom The Nann...
Man uses remainder of year’s health benefits on half-a-dozen vasectomies
VICTORIA – Management consultant Howard Bear is using up the remainder of his yearly workplace medical benefits at his local vasectomy clinic, according to local sources. “I don’t really enjoy acupunc...
Woman neglects to say “be careful,” resulting in boyfriend bumbling into active volcano
BRANDON, MB — Local girlfriend Teresa Waldner failed to remind boyfriend Todd Derksen to be careful yesterday, resulting in his bumbling straight into the mouth of an erupting volcano. “Oh, god,” Wal...
Checked luggage takes year off to travel
WARSAW, POLAND – A piece of checked luggage on a recent domestic Canadian flight has decided to take the year off to travel. “Ever since I came out of the closet last week, I’ve felt this urge to real...
