QUEENS, NEW YORK – The Donald Trump presidential campaign suffered a setback this week after the nominee lost the deed to a recreation center in a climactic pop-and-lock showdown with local…
Report: 100% of wireless Apple headphones already lost between couch cushions
SAN FRANCISCO – Following today’s Apple keynote announcement of their iPhone 7 featuring new wireless headphones, Apple users have reported that 100% of the new “AirPods” have been lost in …
5 unique illustrated prints that will make you say “I’ve woken up in a stranger’s home… again”
No time like the present to spruce up a room with some new illustrated prints, particularly if it’s a room in a strange house where you’ve inexplicably come to! Photo Credit …
Fervent acolytes await prophesied return of Pumpkin Spice Latte
WINNIPEG – Deep beneath the earth in an adjunct conference room of Buhler Industries Inc, a clandestine group of extremely white disciples eagerly awaits the earthly rebirth of their most s…
Mexico detains Trump at border; “America is not sending us their best”
TIJUANA – Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump has been detained by authorities at the Mexican border, after it was determined that he was entering the country illegally. “Judging…
Leslie Jones signs multi-picture deal to remake every single movie online trolls grew up loving
HOLLYWOOD – Following a hack and leak of nude photos of comedic actress Leslie Jones, Hollywood studios have announced a 35-film deal to feature Jones in remakes of every single movie that …
Ryan Lochte wins gold in 400m ‘Making Up A Robbery’
RIO – American swimmer Ryan Lochte has won his second gold medal of the Rio Olympics, this time in the Men’s 400m Making Up A Robbery That Never Actually Happened. “This is unreal, kind of …
No one in social media strategy meeting actually knows how Snapchat works
Florenceville, NB – Attendees at a media strategy session for the McCain Foods company reported enthusiasm over plans to expand awareness to teens using the app Snapchat, despite absolutely…
Trump accuses Clinton of being angry orange-skinned man with bad combover
HARRISBURG, PA – At a campaign rally this week Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump fired off against rival Hillary Clinton, accusing her of being, among other things, ‘a stub…
LCBO offers at-home delivery through Canada Post for highly-organized alcoholics
TORONTO – Today the Liquor Control Board of Ontario announced that it would sell products online, available for delivery through Canada Post, in an effort to target well-organized alcoholic…
