TORONTO – Following the removal of much of the city’s bike lanes, local motorist Jason Welch is facing extreme uncertainty about where he should park his car now.
“It’s so annoying to try and park without those handy bike lanes!” Welch said from the driver’s seat of his GMC Acadia. “Now I don’t know where to stop my car when I need to quickly run into a store or just don’t want to read the street sign all the way.”
When questioned why he feels so partial to leaving his vehicle in the bike lane, Welch says it feels nice to have a place that seems to have been built just for large vehicles and no one else.
“I like leaving my car there because it’s nice and safe, and I don’t have to worry about someone damaging it. People forget how scary driving in this town is with all these bike riders on the road in this town, always crashing into me. Sometimes it takes hours to get the blood out!”
The inconvenience of having to park somewhere without the amusement of seeing someone drive into his open door is starting to motivate Welch to take action and mobilize his fellow drivers to put a stop to what he considers to be unneeded roadwork.
“Doug Ford needs to understand that he has to think about other people!” Welch said, having resorted to parking on the sidewalk directly in front of the doors of a bike shop. “I’m calling all my friends who also like parking there, and we’re going to drive a convoy up and down the bike lane to protest! Let’s see them tear up the bike lane after that! ”
At press time, Welch’s problems may be over, as he has recently discovered a nice spot to park his car in the middle of the Gardiner Expressway
