EDMONTON – After the federal election results left many in western Canada feeling disappointed and alienated, a separatist movement has emerged online under the banner of “Wexit”, inspired by the efficient, painless, and satisfying Brexit process currently underway across the Atlantic.
“We need to follow the shining example of David Cameron,” stated Wexit supporter Mitch Reynolds, referring to the British Prime Minister who announced his resignation following the result of the Brexit referendum.
“Wait, no, I mean Theresa May,” he continued, referring to the British Prime Minister who was forced to resign after failing to figure out how to deliver a split from the European Union. “Ok, no, hold on, which one are they on now?” Reynolds added.
Albertans in particular have expressed frustration with being ruled by a party that is so anti-oil that it would only buy one pipeline. Much of this frustration has been expressed on social media by a series of bots, content aggregators, media reps for foreign owned oil companies, and the occasional Albertan.
“Sure, I know Brexit did get caught up in some complications with treaties they had with Northern Ireland I think,” explained long-haul truck driver David Armstrong, “but here in Alberta we don’t have any treaties we’d need to worry about,” he continued, while driving on a highway that crosses through multiple First Nations reserves.
While some have indicated that it may be easier for an island like Great Britain to separate than it is for landlocked Alberta or Saskatchewan, the western provinces do share similarities with Britain in that they both benefit from subsidies from the governments they want no part of.
As of press time, emergency rooms across the province of Quebec have reported a surge in injuries related to people rolling their eyes too hard.
