LONDON – Several pro-Brexit Secretaries in the British government have shockingly announced their intentions to stage another “mini Brexit”, this time from their duties in Parliament.
Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson is the second minister to resign this week, after Brexit Secretary David Davis launched a similar Brexit from his own job. This double Brexiting has thrown the British government into chaos, as several additional ministers central to the initial Brexit campaign have signaled their intentions to re-Brexit, this time from their own government positions.
“For too long this government has taken advantage of me, expecting me to do things like ‘act in the good of the nation’ and ‘show up to work’” explained Johnson in a hastily-prepared statement. “Now that I’m no longer spending money on travel to and from work, I can spend it on healthcare” said Johnson, whose loss in salary far exceeds the amount he spent on travel.
“The time has come for me to vote ‘Leave’ from my massive salary, though as is customary with any Brexit I plan to keep my lucrative pension and other government perks,” Johnson added.
In the wake of Johnson’s announcement, polls show that he received 100% of the “Leave” vote in his one-man Brexit. While unsubstantiated, reports indicate that Kremlin money and influence played just as central a role in Johnson’s Brexit as in the larger 2016 one.
Reached for comment, British Prime Minister Theresa May suggested, “Perhaps Boris should try doing his job for once, and instead Brexit from his bloody awful haircut.”
