OTTAWA – Auditor General Michael Ferguson has re-released his yearly fall report, the major changes to last year being a shiny new insignia and this years date on the cover page.
“Unlike the government departments and agencies I work to improve,” Ferguson said to a room of reporters, “I’ve learned a lot over the past 100 audits. Like how because no one listens to my recommendations I’ve done my part for the environment by re-using the same report for the past 5 years without anyone noticing.”
“All of the information is the same,” Ferguson added. “The military is falling apart, government agencies don’t reflect the realities of Canadians, income tax complaints remain unresolved, and border services can’t quantify if they’re successful or not. Next year I’m just going to send out an email saying ‘See previous report.’”
But, life for the Auditor General is not quite as simple as recycling boxes of old reports with a superficial change. Ferguson also said that he modified the numbers by hand this year to make sure all the references to 2015 look like 2016.
MPs across Parliament Hill are excited to receive their new report as their previous copies are worn out from keeping their office doors open all year.
